Was it Meant to be an Eternal Moment?
by Lord Cellytron
Summary: You can take the girl out of the Dark Fortress, but you can't take the Dark Fortress out of the girl.. Odds are, I won't be completing this. It's been three years. :P Maybe a sequel...
1. Prologue: Nothing

****Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Power Rangers in Space, any of these magnificent characters or names. Only thing I own is the computer I used to type it up with. *shh.. don't tell the Repo man.*  
  
The story behind this.. erm.. story.. is one that's almost 5 years in the making. Variations on this same theme have been written by me for years, but this is the one I believe is the best.   
  
It asks the question, one that I believe needed to be asked and answered; "What is going through Karone's head at the end of Countdown to Destruction part 2?" My own personal gripe was that she was so cavalier about leaving her old life behind... and most especially, it really made me angry that she could go on with a brand new life without a single look back at her sole companion, her guardian, and as she said herself "The only one she could ever trust", Ecliptor. Truthfully.. I brooded about that for years. I was angry... furious. Oftentimes, I exaggerated their relationship in my own fic series to compensate for the anger I felt.   
  
But, before this turns into the opening monologue for a Lifetime movie, I would simply like to explain the PoV for this fic, and my intentions.  
  
It's written from Karone's PoV. I tried to be fair, true to life. If you don't think I was either, I apologize. This is a great improvement on my older fics (anyone wanna see Karone punching Andros in the face when she finds out that he shattered Zordon's tube..??) but I'm by no means a professional writer.  
  
My intentions are to have fun, reignite my own interests in the series, and write the best damn fic I can write! I believe it's a rather unique concept (ha... just like Kimberly and Tommy romance fics, ne?) and I have attempted to bring it to life in the most vibrant and intriguing way I can.  
  
Additional note: I just realized that since April 13, this author's note has read the title of the infamous PRiS finale as "Countdown to Construction". What in the hell is that?? Some kind of Bob the Builder/PR crossover?! My sincere apologies. I should really get someone to beta-read these things. ::sweatdrops::  
  
****  
  
~~  
  
Prologue: "Nothing"  
  
***  
  
It was... shall we say... a little strange. As far as I was concerned, no time had passed since that last vivid memory had etched itself into my consciousness. It seemed very simple at first; I went onto the Dark Fortress, when Dark Specter sent the asteroid toward earth. And.. then, only a minute later, I left the Dark fortress. Simple. Everything had gone right.   
  
Surrounded by smiling faces. My brother. Andros. He was... was he crying? Why was he.. crying? The last time I saw him cry, we were little kids. He fell off the roof of the house.. such a little maniac back then. He made mom furious. Of course, she was crying, too. He didn't really hurt himself, but it was scary nonetheless. Little things like that were so scary back then, weren't they, Andros? But I don't understand why you're crying now... everything's okay, isn't it? Did we stop the asteroid??? Andros?  
  
I was so confused. I had expected to come back to the Megaship.. but instead, I was outside someplace. I blinked a couple times to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and then, I spoke. My voice didn't crack like I thought it would. "Andros?? What am I doing here?"   
  
He smiled at that. What was he smiling about? Was that relief in his eyes? It filled his face like a wave.. of every emotion he was capable of. More than I'd ever seen before.   
  
"It's... a long story." he whispered, voice cracking as he laughed a little bit. His eyes sort of raised above my head, and I turned around confusedly. With a short gasp, I found myself face to face with all the other rangers. All of whom looked ecstatic.  
  
On closer inspection, every one of them also looked like the very asteroid I'd been going to stop had hit them head on. Ripped clothes, dirty faces, tired eyes that barely focused, but somehow were bursting with glee.   
  
Now, I knew I'd missed something. That was obvious.. but something seemed very very wrong. People stood beyond the rangers, as far as I could see. Humans, all dressed in similarly dilapidated clothing. Humans who almost looked as confused as I did, but who also managed to keep a happy glaze in their half-dead eyes.   
  
With all the joy around me, the rangers hugging me, and the foreign light of earth's sun blinding me everytime I attempted to look behind Andros, I made a feeble attempt to look happy. Foolishly, I also tried to pretend that everything was okay, just as it was before I returned to the Dark Fortress.   
  
But the truth was, I felt a deep, burning dread inside my chest. It was rising upward, with every breath I took. It threatened to burst into my throat, forming the words.. a few words, simple ones...the last words I remembered speaking. Because the mood had so suddenly and so dramatically shifted from that of my last waking memory, I had to wonder..   
  
If I spoke them again, would it shatter this blinding reverie, and bring me back to reality? Reality... which surely wasn't this. Not this... this eutopia of tired faces and cold metal under my body. Silence... surely the silence would return after my piercing scream? Surely that would be what I'd want! Silence. The very elements at my beck and call...  
  
N..no..  
  
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and Andros looked at me again. "Karone.. um.. there's.. something we have to take care of now. Now that you're.. okay." He smiled as he said it, and took my hand, trying to pull me to my feet.  
  
That was another thing. What was I doing lying down? I'd managed to sit up, but I'd felt my hair on the cold metal floor upon my first moment of consciousness. Since I was outside, I assumed I must have been on.. some part of the Megaship. Perhaps.. it crashed? On earth.. and.. that would explain everybody's appearance.   
  
I let Andros pull me to my feet, and then he all of the sudden pulled me to him in a crushing embrace. I gasped outwardly, my body stiff as a board. My ears were ringing, but in the distance I could hear what sounded like thunderous applause. Even the pink ranger... Cassie, was behind us, yelling and screaming and dancing.   
  
Andros, his face buried in my shoulder, said to me quietly that he'd never let me go again as long as he lived. It sent chills down my spine.. not, though, because of his tender words and the happy thought of being with my family again.  
  
It was almost as though his words were begging for forgiveness from me. I glanced upward, and saw at last a decent view of our wherabouts... we were standing on a docking ramp on what must have been the Megaship. What had to be the megaship.   
  
Andros let me go a moment later, and he took my hand, a silent gesture for me to walk away from this docking ramp with him. I looked out at the monstrous crowd, and shook my head, smiling. It was all so weird. I all of a sudden couldn't wait to hear the entire sordid story. Knowing my brother, it'd be a good one... I imagined I probably wouldn't get the entire truth from him, so I'd have to ask... oh... maybe.. the Silver Ranger.   
  
A blush flooded my cheeks at the thought, and I secretly giggled and looked down at the dock in embarrassment. Oh, Karone, what a thought, what a tho---  
  
I blinked.  
  
What... was that I saw?   
  
Andros was still pulling me ahead, but I kept my gaze locked on the metal platform beneath me.   
  
Red... I distinctly saw red.   
  
Red... a very familiar shade of red.... oh no oh no... no no no...  
  
I frowned as I continued walking, and what I saw on the platform slowly became an angular red and silver design.  
  
This isn't it.. no no no no no, you aren't seeing that. No. This is the megaship.   
  
I'd all but stopped. I felt the friction between my hand and Andros' as my hand flew out of his grasp.  
  
You aren't seeing this.  
  
"Karone?" Andros asked, turning around to face me.   
  
I felt my pulse quicken and I slowly walked backwards to get the entire picture.. of an image I'd seen so many times I'd never forget it... yet it still seemed strangely foreign. As if I'd forgotten it.  
  
Andros followed my gaze and saw it too.. he knew immediately what it was. We both knew.. for since we were children it was the crest of our family.  
  
Etched into the lockets we both wore religiously, as a symbol of our love and the family who we loved more than life itself.  
  
Etched onto the scepter I carried religiously, as a symbol of my power and those who had fallen before me, bleeding and dying, as I laughed.  
  
Etched, burned, printed, shown in each and every corner of the fortress I lived on for the past year... as a symbol of...   
  
No.  
  
Despite my heart's denial, I slowly turned around, to find myself staring at an open doorway. A doorway which led to a darkened red room.   
  
Andros quickly appeared behind me, grabbing my arm.  
  
"Karone, please... don't go in there. Please."   
  
I turned to look at him incredulously. "What do you mean, Andros?"  
  
He looked at me with extreme seriousness in his eyes, and shook his head.   
  
My gaze lingered into that doorway for what seemed like an eternity. But finally, I turned back to my brother, my eyes wide with what I hoped would come off as understanding.   
  
He smiled. "I promise, I..."  
  
"You... will tell me what's going on here, won't you?" I asked, my voice a whisper.  
  
"I promise, Karone. I will tell you everything. Everything. I will tell you... everything."   
  
He wouldn't tell me anything. 


	2. Chapter 1: Poise

***  
He wouldn't tell me anything.   
  
And don't get me wrong.. I was patient. I was actually impressed with myself for being so patient.   
  
In the meantime, of course, there was plenty to occupy my mind. I stayed in the Megaship most of the time, all but hiding from the hordes of people who demanded to hear my entire story. How ironic was that? The Megaship had been docked in the outskirts of the earth city of Angel Grove.  
  
Andros and TJ mostly kept them out of my hair, but I did have one rather disturbing incident in which I woke up in the morning and went to use the shower facilities. After I'd completely stripped and put my hair in a shower cap, I heard a voice from behind me, a loud and boisterous child's voice.   
  
"How come your hair turned yellow?"  
  
After shrieking, picking up all my clothes, jumping into the shower, slamming the door, putting all my clothes on again and screaming once again as the cold water suddenly came on by itself, finally Ashley and Cassie came to my aid. They scolded the child, Sylvia I think they called her, and told her never to come on the ship again.   
  
"Funny..." I said to Cassie later, as she put my outfit in the clothes drier. "This is the one day I forgot to lock the bathroom door."   
  
Cassie shook her head, smirking. "I'm never having kids."   
  
"How did she even get on the Megaship?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, Carlos and her are friends, I guess he let her come in and she got out of his sight. You should have seen what happened last time those two got together."   
  
"I think I'm glad I didn't." I sighed, watching the purple and gray flashes of color spin in the drier.  
  
Cassie put her hand on the top of the drier, and then jumped on top of it, sitting down and looking at the ceiling. She whistled, kicking her legs back and forth.   
  
I frowned. "Cassie, what's the date?"   
  
She looked at me, chewing on her lip. "Hmm.. I think it's the 24th."   
  
"What month?"  
  
"November.." She said, not really thinking about it. "November 24th, 1998." She smiled. "Feels like we've been here a long time, huh? We're superstars now.. so.. everyone wants a piece of us. After we get some peace, though, we're going back to KO..." She stopped. "Uh..KO-35."   
  
"We are?" I asked, my head jerking up.   
  
"Mm-hmm!" She said, grinning. "That's gonna be.. uh.. nice, isn't it?"   
  
I blinked. "Oh... well, sure. Of course."   
  
KO-35...  
  
She cocked her head to one side, and then jumped off the drier just as it shut off. "It's done already.." She opened the door and handed me my laundry. "Okay, nice and dry now."   
  
I nodded, clutching it to my chest. "Thanks.. I guess I'll go try taking a shower again."   
  
"Don't worry, Karone." Cassie said lightly.   
  
I looked at her, nodding again.   
  
"I just have to uh.. make sure the water's not so cold. And I'll lock the door this time." I said, turning around.   
  
"No.. ha. I didn't mean about the shower." Cassie said, looking at the floor.   
  
I frowned. "I'll be fine, Cassie... as soon as Andros tells me what the hell happened to an entire month of my life." I turned back around to face her. "November 24, you said?"   
  
Cassie nodded, taken aback.  
  
I nodded back at her soberly, and then left the room.   
  
And a moment later, I found myself curled in a fetal position on the floor of the shower, tears pouring from my stinging eyes.   
  
***  
  
But other than that, I was a perfect lady. Poise, beauty, a stunning smile. I was the ideal candidate for the former princess of darkness and current tragic heroine with a shrouded past who never let her guard down, never let anyone forget how happy she was now.   
  
I found my picture on TV, in the newspapers, in the magazines.   
  
I actually left the Megaship about a week after the shower incident.   
  
It was night, and the city was quiet, thankfully. As I walked off the ship, I got a terrible view of the city of Angel Grove; no longer smoldering but still torn.  
  
What happened to make all of this happen?  
  
As my feet touched down on the ground, I took a deep breath and looked at the sky. How small and pitiful the stars looked; from this earthbound view. Thousands of worlds out there, all of which were just as torn as this one. Why? How?   
  
It was as if the Dark Fortress was beckoning me, truthfully. I hadn't intended to start walking. I hadn't even intended to turn around, to see the enormous vessel, powered down and looming just beyond the hill. But I did.   
  
I found it in the city center.. larger and more powerful than I'd remembered. But it also carried with it a touch of weakness, vulnerability. It was like an ancient relic, untouched by the hands of time, still containing a horrible secret. As if to walk inside would answer every awful question ... illuminate the dark corners of my mind.   
  
To think that it could do that, when it no longer even illuminated itself.  
  
It was illuminated only by the frail lights of this meaningless city.  
  
"What happened to you?" I repeated vocally, as a chill wind struck me from behind. I took a timid step, strangely afraid of knowing the answer.   
  
It felt like hours, really.. just me standing there in the shadow of the great vessel. But no other indication of the time was available. No light peaked out from over the edge of the fortress, and at times it seemed almost as if my very blood had stopped circulating.  
  
Was it meant to be like this? Was it meant to be an eternal moment..?  
  
It was as if I was standing on the edge of a great precipice, deliberating whether or not to jump.. but in the meantime, there was nothing pushing me forward or pulling me back. Not even time itself pushed me forward.   
  
Or pulled me back.  
  
Is that the gist of my life... just one big contradiction after another?  
  
With that thought, I closed my eyes, shutting out my view.. shutting out everything except the wind.  
  
The wind that struck me again, this time pushing me. Pushing me forward.   
  
I opened my eyes, gasping. I took a step. One step... just one step! One more step!  
  
And then.. just as if I were on the precipice..  
  
I fell.   
  
*** 


	3. Chapter 2: Disquiet

***  
  
The mayor's spokeswoman massaged her temples, trying to keep her focus on what the mayor had said about presenting a calm, collected front to the press.   
  
"At this time, there has been no word of any such aliens." She said smoothly, inwardly glaring at the older reporter who had as much as demanded to see proof that evil aliens were still hidden on earth. "But I trust if there ever is such an event, we will be able to count on the Power Rangers as we always have."  
  
She looked back into the crowd of reporters, many of whom were from out of town. She nodded and pointed to a young woman toward the back. "Yes, Radio Kenya?"  
  
The woman nodded. "Why is it that it's always been Angel Grove targeted by evil? Does your city have a curse on it?"   
  
TJ stared in disbelief at the TV screen. "I know she didn't just ask that question."   
  
Carlos and Zhane were seated at the table in the Megaship's small kitchen, shaking their heads in mutual disbelief as they watched the press conference on TV.   
  
"It's almost too bad we declined to show up, I can think of a few answers I'd like to give that reporter." Zhane muttered.  
  
"Let's not forget the man who asked if the Power Rangers would like to become secret service for the president!" Carlos exclaimed.   
  
"The press is just crazy.. I can not wait until this all blows over and we can go outside again.." TJ said, taking a plate from the Synthetron.  
  
"Wonder when that's gonna be." Cassie said, appearing in the doorway. "Is the press conference over yet?"   
  
"No, it's still on." TJ sighed, pointing at the TV.  
  
"Oh man, did you hear that?" Carlos asked. "The spokeslady cut her off and took another question! It's starting to get hostile now."  
  
"Haha! This should be getting good soon. I'm gonna go get Ashley." Cassie squealed, running off.  
  
Zhane looked after her, laughing.   
  
TJ shook his head. "It's sad that the only thing keeping our competitive spirit alive is watching press conferences."   
  
A moment later, Cassie and Ashley ran in, Cassie chattering a mile a minute. "What'd we miss???"   
  
"That moron reporter just asked the spokeswoman if wearing our colors is a sign of support.." TJ snickered.  
  
"Oh my god, Cassie, that reminds me!" Ashley cried. "I honestly saw someone yesterday wearing a t-shirt with our picture on it."   
  
Cassie stared at her in disbelief. "No!!"   
  
"What?! The spokeslady just said no one would know the difference since they're such common colors!!" Carlos cried! "Did you hear that?!"   
  
"That's mean." Cassie said, rolling her eyes. "I think we wear them well."  
  
"Wait, wait wait, it's that same guy from before! The secret service dude! Let's hear what he's gonna say this time!" Zhane said, shushing the others.  
  
The man sniffled, cursing his northwestern upbringing for giving him so many allergies. He held up his notebook and asked, "What does the city plan to do with the giant space fortress?"  
  
The spokeswoman frowned. "That.. that is a very good question. I suppose we'll leave that up to the Power Rangers. Good afternoon." She nodded and stepped down from the podium, leaving the crowd in disbelief before they could pursue her.  
  
The voice-over of a local newsman came on, recalling the highlights of the press conference. TJ shrugged and turned the TV off. "Well, guess it's over.."  
  
The other rangers sat in silence, looking down at the table.   
  
Suddenly Cassie looked up. "Well... you know it's not going to be up to us."   
  
"What isn't?" Zhane asked.  
  
"What to do with the Dark Fortress. I'd just as soon blow it up... but Andros will ask Karone.. and you know she'll get the final word."  
  
"I think that's fair.. I mean.. I dunno. It was hers." Carlos said, shrugging.   
  
"It symbolizes evil, I'm sure she'll want to get rid of it." Ashley said with no doubt in her voice.  
  
"I'm not so sure about that." Cassie said quietly.   
  
"What do you mean??" Zhane asked.  
  
"Have you seen her lately?" TJ asked. "I mean... she's putting on a great show, but you know she wants to know what happened. And when Andros tells her, is she gonna be that eager to put the life she's known for so long on the shelf?"   
  
"What?? Of course she is! She's one of us now.. and if she was that hung-up on it, wouldn't she have been more adament about it? Her entire empire is gone. What could that fortress possibly represent that she'd want to remember?" Ashley asked.  
  
"You can say that... because you've lived long enough doing what's right that you can't imagine being evil.. but she did it for so long that she couldn't have completely lost the instinct.." TJ replied.   
  
"Wait a minute.. what the hell do you two know that the rest of us don't?" Ashley asked, looking at TJ and Cassie accusingly.  
  
"All I know is that she's mad as hell beneath that happy exterior. Andros won't tell her the truth about when she was brainwashed. She knows how long it's been." Cassie explained.   
  
"And all I know is what I've seen." TJ said soberly.   
  
"But... I mean.. I know she wasn't being controlled by Dark Specter, at least before... before the point where she can't remember anything.. so you think that she wasn't purified by Zordon's energy?" Zhane asked incredulously.  
  
"I don't think she's still evil. But I do think that her good side can remember the good that she experienced while being evil." Cassie said, frowning. She started to laugh when she realized what she'd said. "I mean..."  
  
"The good?? Like what?" Ashley asked.   
  
"Like us." Andros replied, entering the room. The other rangers turned around to face him, TJ and Cassie looking a bit sheepish. "We took her away from the evil that ran her life. She remembers that, which is why she's staying here."  
  
"Andros... you have to tell her." Cassie said quietly.   
  
Andros frowned. "I.. I know.. but I don't even know where to begin."   
  
"You don't think she's gonna be MAD at you, do you?" Ashley asked. "She won't be! She can't be! It wasn't your fault."  
  
Andros sighed. "I don't know. When I tell her about the Psycho Rangers.. and everything, she's probably going to feel horrible."  
  
"But it wasn't her, it was Astronema." Zhane said.   
  
TJ and Cassie looked at each other, and Ashley sighed exasperatedly.   
  
"Cassie, TJ, why don't you tell Andros what you just told us?" She asked angrily. "Do you really doubt Karone that much?!"   
  
"What? It isn't a matter of doubt! It's just--" Cassie cried.  
  
"Then TRUST her for god's sake!" Ashley screamed, getting up and leaving the room.   
  
Andros frowned, looking after Ashley's retreating shadow. "Okay, do I want to know what that was about?"   
  
Cassie sighed and got up from the table. "Never mind.. forget I said anything. It isn't up to us. She's your sister."   
  
"What do you mean she's my sister? What's going on??" Andros asked.  
  
Cassie shook her head and left.   
  
"Will someone tell me what's going on here??" Andros exclaimed, looking across the table at his fellow male rangers.  
  
"The city's decided to give us the honor of deciding what to do with the Dark Fortress." TJ said. "It is still operational, isn't it?"   
  
Andros shrugged. "I-- I have no idea. Why would we want it? Let the city dispose of it and everything it repres-- OH NO."   
  
TJ smiled and nodded. "Exactly. We all know she never went through any sort of brainwashing UNTIL she found out the truth about her identity. She became Astronema of her own free will. She took command of the Dark Fortress of her own free will."   
  
Zhane shook his head. "Wait a minute... no brainwashing?! How.. how can that be? Didn't she know what she was doing??"  
  
Andros sighed. "No. Ecliptor told her that the Power Rangers destroyed her planet. Jeez, Zhane, didn't I tell you all this already once?"   
  
"I don't remember! All I remember is you going postal on me when you found out I dated your sister!"   
  
"Oh... yeah.. don't you have any self-control?!"   
  
"YOU GUYS!" Carlos exclaimed.   
  
"What? Oh.. sorry..." Andros said, shaking his head.   
  
"I think Ashley just yelled for you." Carlos said, pointing in the direction of the door. Sure enough, Ashley's clear voice once again rang through the corridors a moment later.   
  
Andros silently got up and ran down the hall. He saw Ashley up ahead, running in the opposite direction.   
  
"Ashley???" He called.   
  
She turned around and stopped. "Andros! Karone isn't here!"   
  
"What do you mean?" He asked, suddenly aware that he was standing outside Karone's quarters. The door was opened, with no sign of his sister. "Where is she? Did you check the bathroom?"  
  
"Wide open." Ashley stated simply.   
  
"DECA... where is my sister?" Andros inquired.   
  
The clear, soothing voice of DECA, the ship's onboard AI, answered him politely. "Karone is not on board. She left at approximately 4 am."   
  
Andros' eyes widened, and he looked at Ashley, who looked equally shocked.   
  
"4 am??? Then where the hell is she now??"  
  
*** 


	4. Chapter 3: Game Over

I could have sworn I just heard a bird.   
  
***  
  
I was much younger, the last time I heard that familiar call. It struck me as odd, that birds from around the universe gave the same cry when confronted with danger. Of course, to birds, danger can be something as simple as a laughing little girl running under its tree, sitting down and giggling as she hid from her companion. Or.. it could be something else.  
  
Oh.. he sounds angry. He's calling for me.  
  
But that wasn't right.. I wasn't doing anything wrong. It was just a game.   
  
Because, the first few months, after the last day I saw my parents, I played those little games with myself... most children who are faced with tragedy do, so I hear.   
  
My first instinct, after his somber voice told me my family was dead, was to doubt him. Naturally. I looked at his cold face and shook my head. "You're lying!" I screamed angrily, bitter tears stinging my cheeks. "You're lying and I hate you!!! I want you to take me back home, now!!"   
  
His eyes of course showed no emotion. They were, after all, nothing more than red glass. "You don't want me to do that."   
  
"Yes I do!! I want to go home!!"  
  
He hesitated, for a long long time. My blood was boiling. How dare he, after all. How dare he say things like that.   
  
"You.. understand.. your home is destroyed. Your parents and brother are dead. But if you insist, I will take you back to your planet." He stood up and snapped his fingers. "You there. Set a course for KO-35."   
  
My second instinct was to laugh. You see... I don't remember what I saw on KO-35. I really don't. It was as if my life were a film reel, with a large section lying separate from the rest of the film. I had a feeling, always, that if I simply looked in the direction of that cut scene, balled up and tattered just below me.. well, I would remember it all. But I decided not to.. instead, I accepted it. And I went on as if they'd never existed.   
  
Easily.   
  
It was just a game.   
  
I hid behind the tree and looked up into its sparse branches. The heat was stifling and nearly all vegetation on the planet was dead or dying from the lack of water. I wiped my brow and sighed as I heard him calling for me.   
  
And then, all at once, his voice faded into the distance, and a higher pitch took it over. I looked above me, and there I saw the bird. Its movements were surprisingly sharp for its assuredly poor health. It looked about it as if it expected a lush crop of grains to pop up right before it.   
  
Being the child I was, I stared at it with fascination. It was rare that I saw examples of a flourishing natural state of being. Even at my young age, I had totally foregone everything natural about myself. My hair was purple, I wore totally unbreathable leather and metal, my eyes were even trained not to see the beauty in anything, only its potential for self-fulfillment.   
  
So why this bird enthralled me so, I will never know. Maybe its resillience, its innocence and total surrender to the world around it.. I have no idea.   
  
Its cry still pierced me, though. It looked perfectly happy, until it cried out, and all at once, I heard every woe the small creature was experiencing as loud as my own inner woes. While this bird was crying out in hunger, discomfort, frustration, it seemed it was also relaying a message to me.. and at the time, it made no sense. I just felt so lonely all of a sudden.   
  
He appeared next to me then, of course. He was so stealthy I didn't even notice he was there until his smooth, even voice spoke to me.  
  
"Astronema, what are you doing..."  
  
He seemed to see the bird at that same moment, and he looked at me. Then, without a word, I lifted my wrath staff, and took a shot at the bird.   
  
Its small body jumped in shock, but it wasn't able to lift itself up from its perch, so it merely kept crying out.   
  
I had meanwhile dropped my staff, angry and confused. It didn't make any sense to me...   
  
He knelt down in front of me. Never sat.. just knelt. And he took my face in his hand, with surprising gentleness.   
  
"That's good. You must never let the enemy doubt your power."  
  
My eyes widened at what he said. "How.. how is that bird the enemy?!" I asked incredulously.  
  
"First and foremost.. that which is not artificial is the enemy. That which embodies the traits of those who claim to be 'good', 'natural', is the enemy. Don't feel pity for its mournful cry. Beneath the most mournful of cries, there is the intention of good, and potential malice toward you. Good causes more problems than it solves. Do not ever forget what those who practice 'good' did to you."  
  
I shook my head, biting my lip.   
  
"Perhaps it is not so much the bird that is the enemy. Perhaps it is simply.. what the bird represents. I understand how the human eye seeks out beauty. I implore you not to see its current state as beautiful."   
  
He then looked upward and with a single nod, shot ray beams at the bird, slicing it open and spilling blood over the tree. Its clawed feet unwillingly released the perch and in a graceful arc, the bird plummeted to the ground before my feet.   
  
"Its live state was wasteful. Distracting. Placed there by the spirit of goodness to confuse and anger you. This way.. it is neither a distraction, nor a threat to you." He stood up and held out his hand for me to take.   
  
And I took it.   
  
It was all a game, after all.  
  
*** 


	5. Chapter 4: Seeking Comfort

***   
  
So of course I recognized the sound as being a bird. Oh, not just one, but many. Hundreds, maybe. All crying out for.. for what? What could they be saying? Were they expressing a longing? Maybe just like me.. they all had secrets. Secrets they covered up with their cheerful chirps.  
  
Beyond my closed eyes, there was light. I also sensed cold underneath me, coldness and hardness, as if I were lying on a bed of stone.   
  
I moved my head and was welcomed into stinging consciousness by severe roughness scraping my chin. Grimacing, I quickly clutched my head with my hand. In the process, my eyes flickered open and attempted to make sense of all they drew in.   
  
First, I saw a great path of blue and silver. At the end of the path, like a monolith beckoning me in the distance, was the grandest of battleships.   
  
I pulled myself into a seated position, frowning. "What am I still doing here?"   
  
The irony. That after all that time among the Power Rangers, all that time surrounded by love and acceptance; forced and uncomfortable though it was, I end up in exactly the same place, in exactly the same position, asking exactly the same question.  
  
I should be ashamed, I thought. This is horrible. If Andros finds me here, how will I ever explain myself to him? I'll look so ungrateful.. or even worse, suspicious.   
  
And I couldn't look suspicious.. because my intentions were nothing but good. The evil has been completely purged from my mind; caught behind a filter formed by love and kindness. An impenetrable filter.  
  
Funny.   
  
I began to get up, shaking my head. I absolutely had to get back before Andros came looking for me. I had no idea what time it was, but he would no doubt be coming to look for me soon.   
  
I stood up, determined never to take a look behind me again, when suddenly I found myself staring down into the eyes of a young girl.   
  
I shrieked involuntarily and jumped backwards. The girl reacted instantly and stood up, running over to me. She took my hand and patted it with hers.   
  
"It's okay, it's okay! I'm sorry!"   
  
I frowned at her. She was slightly shorter than I was, with large blue eyes concealed behind thick glasses. Her hair was long and blonde, tied back in a ponytail.   
  
"I'm sorry." She repeated, releasing my hand. "Please.. don't run away."  
  
"I.. uh.. I'm sorry?" I said, shakily.   
  
"Well.. you're her, aren't you? I guess I mean, you're you, aren't you?"  
  
"W..what?"   
  
"Oh, jeez, that didn't make any sense. I mean, you're Karone?"   
  
I nodded.   
  
"Oh, Gosh, you're really her."  
  
Oh no, I thought. Please, god, not another flustered and emotional fangirl. I'd seen enough of them on the news to know them on sight, and luckily enough my contact with them had been minimal. But now I'd opened myself up to countless assaults. They didn't even sleep, did they?!   
  
"I'm sorry.. I really have to get back to the megaship." I said, smiling apologetically, preparing to run if necessary.   
  
"The beds there must not be up to par." She said cryptically.  
  
"Excuse me..?" I asked.  
  
She shrugged. "Just a speculation... but you aren't used to sleeping in those conditions, are you?"   
  
"What conditions? Who are you?" I demanded, quickly losing my patience.   
  
"Comfort. Safety. You crave the unstable, the rough, the dangerous. I could see it in the way you slept on the cold cement. You looked completely content, despite the temperature and the discomfort."  
  
I shook my head. "I passed out, I wasn't asleep!"   
  
"Then why were you snoring?"   
  
My jaw dropped. "I WAS. NOT. SNORING!"   
  
"Were too. I'm surprised you didn't wake up the whole city!"   
  
"Well, you're certainly rude! You wouldn't happen to know someone named Sylvia, would you?!" I snapped.   
  
She frowned, then giggled. "Amazing. I'm actually having an argument with the Princess of Darkness!"   
  
My face blankened, as I felt my thoughts scatter to the winds.   
  
"I.. I'm not the.. that anymore. You shouldn't call me that!"   
  
She cocked her head, then nodded. "Okay, you're right." Then she turned around, so she was facing the same direction I was.  
  
"Well, it was certainly nice talking to you..." I began, but she cut me off.  
  
" It's none of my business, really... but this thing fascinates me. I even took time off from college, just so I could fly across the country to come see it."  
  
"College?" I asked incredulously.  
  
She looked behind her shoulder at me. "Yes.. college.. it's school, you know."  
  
"But you can't be old enough to go to college! You're about 10!"   
  
"I'm 14, thank you very much!"  
  
"So what are you... some kind of prodigy?!"   
  
"No.. not at all. I'm just like you. I see things."   
  
"Things like what?"   
  
She sighed, and looked to the sky. "I see a harbinger. This. It's already done its damage to the physical world.. but its destiny is uncertain. Whatever it is, however, it can't be good."   
  
"Why not? And who's to say what's..." I stopped myself.   
  
"You see things too. But what you see is the past. The past that keeps repeating itself."   
  
"That's for sure."   
  
"But the future to you is terribly forboding. That's why you seek comfort wherever you can. Even if it's on the cold cement. There must be something very powerful drawing you to this place."   
  
I looked upward, at the top of the Dark Fortress, beginning to shine with light that only began to brim over the horizon.   
  
"The truth. I want to know the truth." I whispered.   
  
"About what?" She inquired.   
  
Instead of answering her, I turned around to where she was sitting. There, on the cement, was a pink, girly backpack, a notebook, and a laptop computer.   
  
"So you came.. just to see the Dark Fortress?"   
  
She shook her head. "Oh, not just that. I can't show my bias so strongly. I'm not on the side of evil, it's just this that fascinates me. Its very structure... seems to contain a spirit that's trapped in a dilemma. Look at it. It's roundness shows even-mindedness.. but even that isn't perfect. It's jagged, too. And its power and majesty seems equally full of an almost.. vulnerable soul. Oh, it's just amazing."   
  
"You see all that in this?" I asked.  
  
"Exactly. I see things. What do you see in it?"  
  
I shrugged. "I see.. a playground. And a battlefield."   
  
"Contradictions?"   
  
"No. They're one in the same."   
  
She frowned at me, an almost amused frown. Then, she reached up and touched my cheek.   
  
"You're bleeding."   
  
I quickly reached up and touched my face, and sure enough, both my cheek and my chin were dripping in blood from the scrape. I cried out in disgust and searched for a place to wipe my hand.   
  
Suddenly, the girl reached down to the ground and wiped the blood from her hand onto the pavement.   
  
"Blood really never comes off." she said, as if that were some sort of explanation.   
  
It was growing lighter, all the time lighter, and I suddenly looked behind me, back at the megaship.   
  
"I'm really going to have to get going.. uh.. thanks.." I said clumsily.   
  
"Karone... if it's the truth you're looking for, then you're going to need to find it. Show Andros the blood you spilled for this. I don't think he'd want you to spill more." She said, soberly.  
  
I looked around, and then turned to head back.   
  
"Oh, my name's Kendrix, by the way. Kendrix Morgan." She called after me.  
  
"Kendrix, huh?" I asked quietly. "What an interesting name."   
  
"Well you'll have to look me up or something sometime.. give me the specs for your ship."   
  
"It isn't my ship." I said firmly.  
  
"Well... it sure owns a part of you. I think you should ask for it back."   
  
*** 


	6. Chapter 5: Determination

***   
  
I must have had the strangest look on my face when she said that. I know that when I'd finally turned all the way around and my expression went neutral, my cheek muscles were sore from contortion.  
  
Well, I didn't make many expressions as an evil monarch. It was all part of being the picture of control, the essence of smooth sailing. I was surely no Divatox.   
  
I suddenly smiled at the thought of that name.   
  
Divatox. It's a good thing I came when I did. A damn good thing. That woman was the picture of incompetence... and the expressions she made.   
  
In fact, the first time I saw Divatox, I remember the first thought that came to my mind. It was a rare remembrance of my former life, and it shocked the hell out of me. I was so shocked, in fact, that instead of simply thinking the words, I blurted them out right to her face.  
  
"If you keep making that face, it's going to stay that way."   
  
She really never liked me after that. Dark Specter thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.   
  
A smile was plastered to my face, as I shook my head. Boy, was I a little firecracker back then.  
  
Quickly, the smile evaporated as I realized that I had just even further delayed my return to the megaship.. over thoughts! Thoughts!  
  
Thoughts I wasn't even supposed to be having.   
  
That weird girl had gotten to me, that was obvious. I flinched a bit as my muscles and my heart struggled with each other over whether I should turn around and talk to her again, or keep walking ahead and dismiss her as a total mental case.   
  
Ultimately, I broke into a run. I think it was sheer luck that it was in the direction of the Megaship.   
  
***  
  
"We've got to find her!" Andros screamed, hysteria slowly creeping into him. "There's no telling what could have happened to her!"   
  
Ashley had her hand on his chest as he yelled to the other rangers, looking behind her with a pained expression. "Andros, calm down!"  
  
TJ got up calmly, as always. "She's been out all night?"  
  
"Ever since 4am." Ashley said calmly.  
  
"It's all my fault. My god... wh... why didn't we lock the doors?!" Andros groaned, clutching his forehead.  
  
"They are locked." Carlos said.   
  
"Why not from the INSIDE?!" Andros hissed.   
  
"Andros, you have to snap out of it! You're acting totally neurotic." Cassie exclaimed. "Now look, I'm sure nothing happened."  
  
"How sure are you?! Sure enough to risk her life?! I'm going looking for--" he began, turning around. He jumped in fright as he saw me standing in front of him. His eyes locked on me.  
  
"Karone!" He exclaimed, relief washing over his face.  
  
I frowned at the sight of all six of the rangers standing around, staring at me. "Um... what's everyone doing up so early?" I asked casually.  
  
"Karone, you're bleeding! Oh my god, what happened?" Ashley asked, taking my hand.   
  
"What?" I asked, touching my face. "Oh.. uh.. nothing. I just kinda.. fell down."   
  
"Fell down? It looks like a scrape.." Andros whispered. "Did you get in a fight?!"  
  
"Huh? What? No! I just... decided to go out for a walk, and I -and I tripped. It's no big deal."   
  
"You were out for hours!" Ashley replied.  
  
"No, I wasn't.." I said, my eyes darting from Andros to Ashley and to the other rangers who were standing behind them, looking concerned but not speaking. "Look.. it's okay. I'm fine. I just... wanted to see the city."   
  
"At 4 in the morning?" Cassie finally spoke. "You should have asked me to go with you."   
  
"Asked you to..."   
  
"We're your friends. You didn't have to go alone."   
  
I felt my eyes tearing up. It didn't make any sense anymore. Last night, of course it had made perfect sense.. it was that force, pulling me.   
  
I had to go alone...   
  
But what if one of them had gone with me?? Would I still be pulled? Or... would it have stopped? Would they have given me strength?  
  
And if they had, would it have been real..? True? Forever? Or what if it was just a quick fix?  
  
Andros put his hand on my shoulder. "Karone... are you sure you're okay?"  
  
I looked into his face again, and he looked so tired. But even then, love shone through his eyes.   
  
I shook my head. He loved me. That should have been enough.   
  
But I felt a drop of the blood from my chin drip onto my neck, and I saw his eyes follow it.   
  
And all of a sudden, I wondered.. maybe it wasn't the birds containing a secret. Maybe it was the very blood inside my body. Inside, it's hidden away, and no one can see it.. the closest that blood ever gets to the surface is inside a wispy blue vein.   
  
Wispy like the truth of your childhood, it's there, and you can see it.. but you never really get the full gist of it.  
  
But sometimes, something happens, and the skin is broken. The blood has no place else to go but out.   
  
Is that like a secret?? Like the secret Andros is keeping from me?   
  
I saw the others looking at me with concern.. and I felt myself breaking.   
  
But no!! No.. no no no. They believed in me now.   
  
I was good. I was good I was good I was good.   
  
They couldn't know where I was.. they couldn't know my thoughts, or my desire, or the awe with which I beheld the Dark Fortress. They couldn't even know about that crazy girl, who...  
  
NO.  
  
"Yes... I'm just fine." I said evenly, even smiling. "I'm sorry I worried all of you. I'm really fine. I think I'll go wash my face."   
  
"Do you want any help?" TJ asked me.  
  
"No, thank you. I'm just fine." And then, for good measure, I even reached up and tugged a strand of Andros' hair, seemingly playfully.   
  
I felt their confused eyes on my back, and I tried to walk lightly and happily. They didn't know about the tears that drizzled down my cheeks.   
  
They didn't know about the vow I made then and there... to stop it now. To forget about it.   
  
Andros came into my room the next day, and sat down on the bed next to me.   
  
"We're going back to KO-35 tomorrow."   
  
I swear. He really said it.   
  
*** 


	7. Chapter 6: Normality

***  
  
"T.. Tomorrow?", I found myself asking. "So soon?"   
  
The room was dark, and he muttered something. It was said in what I recognized as an amiable tone, so I was rather certain that he hadn't said anything bad.   
  
And indeed, he hadn't. The bed creaked as he shifted his weight to the floor, crossed the room and increased the illumination. He did it gradually enough that my eyes adjusted quickly to the request I'd made of them, to tell me that Andros wasn't angry or annoyed with me.  
  
He came back to the bed, and seated himself once again. "That's better." He said, smiling.   
  
I smiled back, a genuine smile. That surprised me. I guess I was just so relieved that he hadn't come in to scold me for being so distant the past few days.   
  
I guess he understood that I needed a little time to let my blood cool. Looking at him that evening, I saw a different person than the tired, haggard boy from a couple days ago. He looked as if he'd had time to relax and indeed, let his own blood cool. Things were getting better, I could tell that from the atmosphere. No stifled "hello"s or uncertain gestures lingered in the corridors of the ship. People were beginning to go away, and the Rangers were relieved. All of us were relieved, and things were getting back to normal.   
  
And if it were so evident to me, despite the fact that I'd barely come out of my quarters except for meals, then it must be so.   
  
"So... this is the time Cassie was talking about.." I said, breaking the silence.  
  
"What did Cassie say?" Andros asked.  
  
"The time when we 'get some peace'.. that the mobs finally leave us alone." I paused, still smiling. "We're really going there."   
  
"Yeah.. we really are. Everything we talked about... we'll finally see it again."   
  
I looked at him, how his eyes were glittering with anticipation, and real joy. It couldn't help but bring at least one tear to my eye. I still vibrantly remembered our conversation in the cargo bay. We were just like kids again, talking and laughing and wondering, just like before. We'd talked all night, until finally I blanked out with happy exhaustion.   
  
It was such a cherished moment of mine, and for a moment I felt so ashamed for ever doubting the happiness I felt. With my brother, it was just like being home again.   
  
And now, we really were going home.. again.  
  
I looked up at the ceiling, and I almost felt completely free. Free of every offense I'd ever committed. Every crime, every.. everything.   
  
"What are you thinking about?" Andros suddenly inquired.   
  
I lowered my head and looked behind me, at the pillow. "I'm just thinking... trying to remember what everything looked like."   
  
"It.. it might not look the same.. I mean, not exactly." He said as gently as he could.   
  
I laughed, despite the words he said. "No.. of course not. I don't expect it to."   
  
"But... um.. I'll show you.. where we lived. That'll be the first thing, the most important."   
  
"Do you think our parents are going to be there?"   
  
It was probably a dumb thing to say. Magical thinking, I suppose. But he didn't encourage me to feel shame for the question I'd just asked. Instead, he shrugged boyishly.  
  
"I.. I really don't know. But I hope so."   
  
I nodded my head, tears in my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Me...me too."   
  
He nodded too, and put his arm around me. It was an impromptu gesture, but I didn't reject it.   
  
I'm not sure how long we sat like that, both of us very obviously crying, but neither of us eager to get away any time soon.   
  
And suddenly morning couldn't come fast enough.  
  
*** 


	8. Chapter 7: Eternity

***  
  
But come it did. Gradually, I felt Andros' protective arm slip away from my shoulder, while simultaneously I felt myself slipping into a soft slumber.   
  
"I'll let you get some rest now, we've got a big day tomorrow." He said softly.  
  
"What time is it..." I mumbled, my head bobbing up and down with sleepiness.  
  
"It's about midnight, I think." He replied, returning to the light switch and turning my lights down.   
  
"Yeah... that's late enough." I said groggily, swinging my legs over onto the mattress and sinking into the pillow.  
  
"I'll see you in the morning. Good night, Karone.." He whispered, going out the door.   
  
"Mmmmnight.", I sighed, talking more into my pillow than to him.   
  
He stood, back against the door, for quite a few seconds after he left. He stared intently at the floor for the duration of the time, his mind mostly still in subdued contemplation.   
  
I took it well, and he was pleased with that. I seemed like the girl he'd always intuitively known, even despite their differences.   
  
Both of us had worries, he was well aware of that. I'd allowed myself to place them at the back of my mind, if even for a moment. And it showed.   
  
He began to walk, and before long he found himself at the door of his best friend. Almost forgetting to ring the entry code, he stumbled into the quarters.   
  
Zhane was lying on his bed, awake, holding a magazine high above his head and scrutinizing the image before him. He said "Come in" well after Andros was inside.   
  
"I told her." He said simply.   
  
Zhane turned his head and frowned. "So when's the wedding?"   
  
"What? I told KARONE. That we're going back home."   
  
"Oh.. OH! Sorry!" He said sheepishly, sitting up. "I was.. sort of out in orbit."   
  
"I can see why, what with your chosen reading material." Andros said sarcastically, crossing his arms.  
  
Zhane slyly pushed the magazine behind him, closing it. "Just a little.. uh.. something I picked up at a newsstand, along with our latest newspaper appearance. You know, I never saw ANYTHING like that magazine on KO-35!"   
  
"No, Stella Quasinella wasn't exactly that sort of 'actress'."   
  
"You should really pick one up sometime! It really calms your nerves. They've got these letters at the beginning, and I can't believe the kind of stuff that HAPPENS on this planet, all the time, everywhere you look---"   
  
"Thanks but no thanks." Andros said, holding up his hands.   
  
"Okay, your loss. So what did Karone say?"   
  
Andros sighed.   
  
"Ohh, that kinda talk, huh?"   
  
"No, no no, not at all. It went really well... I mean.. she's really excited about it."   
  
"So you didn't tell her about..." Zhane began, trailing off.  
  
"No, I didn't, Zhane!... I mean, no." He sighed. "I don't see why she has to know. She doesn't remember doing it. I don't know why I can't just leave it the way it is."   
  
"Andros, you're talking like she's some school paper you're trying to blow off doing. She's your sister!"   
  
"And I'm just trying to protect her!"   
  
"But you can't protect her forever. She needs to know eventually. I mean, you're not just hoping that like, we'll get in orbit, she'll feel her feet on the soil and suddenly everything about Astronema will disappear forever, are you? Cause I can tell you right now, it's not gonna happen."   
  
"I know that!! I'm not a fool!" Andros cried. "It's just that.. when I was talking to her tonight, she never mentioned it once. In fact, to my face she never HAS asked, except the first day.. and since then.. I dunno.. I guess I was secretly hoping she forgot."   
  
"But she didn't."   
  
"It's only a month... I don't even.. I don't know."   
  
"Well... what did you guys talk about then??"   
  
Andros sat down on the floor, crossing his legs. "Well, I told her, and she asked about our parents... and then we started crying, and then I left. She went to bed."   
  
"Sounds like a nice normal conversation." Zhane admitted, lying back on the bed.   
  
"Exactly. Nice and normal. She has it in her, Zhane. The potential to be just a nice, normal girl.. what kind of brother would I be if I just barged in there and messed all that up with the Psychos, and Dark Specter and.. everything else?"  
  
"Mmm.."   
  
"Am I boring you?" Andros asked dully.   
  
"What? No.. but it IS midnight. They play some really good shows on HBO around midnight.. mind if I turn on the TV for some background noise?"   
  
"Uh.. no.. I suppose not."   
  
Zhane clicked on the TV, and then in a pirate accent crooned, "Tis good for what ails ye!"   
  
Andros chuckled, shaking his head, and then he turned to face the TV. The image of a woman and a man in a rather compromising position greeted his eyes.   
  
"Oh, this is a good one. Okay, see, he's a plumber.." Zhane began, but Andros shushed him with an exasperated glance, and he shut up, occasionally snickering to himself.   
  
Andros sighed and figured he may as well watch the show, it was something other than guilt to occupy his mind.   
  
And it was strangely nice, for a change.   
  
***  
  
"Karone..."  
  
A woman's voice. Strangely soothing, but masked by something. Fear? Anger?   
  
Clouds surrounded me. I knew I was veiled, thinly but effectively. The clouds formed a film around my body, which otherwise was uncomfortably naked.   
  
"Who are you?" I tried to answer, but nothing came out of my throat except one word.   
  
"Lies."   
  
I drew back. Why had I said that? I shook my head and put my hands over my mouth, attempting to take it back. But there it was before me; "Lies". In large letters, it flapped in the breeze and cut through the clouds, leaving part of my body open. I felt it double back and then it cut through my skin just as easily as it had the clouds. I tried to scream, but instead another word came out.  
  
"Death."  
  
I felt it shoot downwards, tearing the clouds out from under my feet. I held myself desperately, as I felt myself falling, my protective veil shattering above me.   
  
When I landed, I felt no pain, but I found myself uttering the word "Hate" as I struggled to pull myself to my feet. I shook my head as I saw the word emit from my mouth, and I tried to pull it back. I'd almost grasped it, but it suddenly flattened itself into a long, slender blade and it slid out of my hands, spurting blood from my palms.   
  
My cry of pain became "Malice".   
  
I turned my eyes to the growing stream of blood beneath me. In the deep red liquid, I began to see my reflection. My eyes, narrowed with indifference. My mouth pursed into a permanent line, as shallow and straight as a soul so empty deserved. My hair was short, red, and in a bob.   
  
I shook my head again, as this reflection grew more prominent and all my blood seemed to pool around it.   
  
"Destruction."   
  
"Chaos."   
  
The deep eyes which I so disgustedly identified as my own bore into me, and I noticed what looked like wires and some sort of diodes attached to my temple and cheek. I began to frantically tear at my own flesh, but my only reward was one final word, this time coming from my reflection.   
  
"Eternity."   
  
I looked at the evil woman in despair, and her... MY lips curled into a malicious grin.   
  
"All of these words are true. I'm speaking because you cannot. Your mind has been contorted by those who claim to be 'good'."   
  
I turned to run away, but instead I tripped, just as I had when I went back to the Dark Fortress.   
  
"It's not going to leave you. You did such horrible things... even I'm surprised."   
  
Shut up!!  
  
"It's all true. You wanted the truth, here it is. Are you ready?"  
  
No..!!!  
  
But in a split second, I found myself on the cold, steel floor of the Dark Fortress. My eyes were open, then closed, then open...  
  
What was going on?! I heard scuffling, and anger.. so much anger!   
  
I don't want to see this.. I don't want to know the words! So many voices..   
  
Dread loomed in the air, as someone fell. Someone... who..?!   
  
I realized a sort of stench in the air... it smelled like death. Burning flesh... and death behind it. Creeping into my soul.   
  
Oh no, please... don't... don't let me die... Do it... DO IT!!!   
  
Do what, though?!  
  
Andros... ANDROS!! DO IT!!!   
  
Light...  
  
LIGHT...  
  
I'm alive, and that's all that matters.   
  
*** 


	9. Chapter 8: Maturity

***  
  
Cassie woke up early, her eyes wide and ready to remain open for the day, even though the day in question had barely begun to arrive.   
  
It was, admittedly, unlike her lately to be up so early, and as she rolled over onto her side and stared blankly into her quarters, she sighed.   
  
"5:30." Her voice muttered with a touch of annoyance. "Great."   
  
Rolling back over and sitting up, she tugged at her shirt, which had tangled around her legs in her slumber. After a few minutes of sitting there, she hopped off her bed and exited the room. Passing all the other rangers' quarters, she realized that she wasn't the only one up, and in fact it was likely that there was even someone on the bridge. Of course, she wasn't about to go running to the bridge in her pajamas, but it sort of comforted her to know that she wasn't alone.   
  
She walked into the informal lounge which led to the separate bathing areas and washrooms, and she nodded when she saw Carlos in the corner, pulling on long black socks under his gray uniform pants.   
  
"Not even a good morning?" Carlos asked.   
  
"Nope." She replied teasingly.   
  
"Well, you suck."   
  
"What you say??" Cassie exclaimed in an exaggeratedly bad accent.   
  
"What are you even doing up this early, anyway?" Carlos asked, putting on his shoe.  
  
"I don't know.. I think God was beckoning me here to tell you that you need to wash your socks." She flashed him a grin and ducked as he tossed his other shoe at her.   
  
"You're lucky. You're lucky." He said, pointing at her with one eye squinted. She giggled, sticking her tongue out and bouncing around. She picked up his shoe and waved it in the air mockingly.   
  
"Okay, that's it. Now you die!" Carlos yelled, leaping at her. She shrieked as he grabbed her from behind, wrenching the shoe out of her grasp. He held it up like it was a sword, and Cassie struck a fighting pose.   
  
"Bring it on, pretty boy!" She snarled, laughing.   
  
He grinned and whacked her with the shoe. She frowned and rubbed her shoulder. "Owww. That kinda hurt."   
  
.  
  
"That's what happens!" He shot back, twirling around. "When you incur the wrath of Caaaarlos."   
  
"The wrath of Caaaarlos." She snickered, shaking her head. "Okay, Caaaaaarlos, take pity on me, I gotta go brush my teeth."   
  
"I will spare you.. THIS TIME." Carlos cackled after her.   
  
She sighed and leaned over one of the sinks, eager to splash her face with nice, cold water.   
  
Unfortunately, this wasn't what happened. She turned the faucet, and to her surprise, no water came out.   
  
"Oh jeez, come on..." She said, turning it a couple of more times, but with no luck. "Hey Carlos, you still there?"   
  
"Yeah?" He replied, walking into the room.   
  
"Dude... there's something wrong with the sink." She turned around to meet his eyes.  
  
"I didn't do it." Carlos said, reaching past her and fiddling with the faucet. "This ship has a soul of its own, it really tends to show through when there's no one around to see it."   
  
Cassie murmured in concurrance, crossing her arms.   
  
"I dunno, try another one... we're gonna need to go in for repairs once we get to KO35."   
  
She nodded, moving down to the sink next to her. This one worked perfectly, and she sighed happily, submurging her face in waves of blessedly cool water.   
  
"Well, I'm going to the bridge." Carlos reported, loudly enough for her to hear his voice over the sound of the rushing water. "Maybe I'll run a couple analyses to find out what else doesn't work."   
  
"Good luck. I'll be there in a couple of minutes."   
  
After he'd gone, and she had the entire bathroom to herself, she switched off the water and crossed the tile floor to use the facilities. On her way back to the sink, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the room-length mirror and gasped at the strangely womanly features that she identified as her own.   
  
Seeing herself every day always made changes in appearance seem almost nonexistant, or so she thought. But instead, it was as though she had simply gone a year into the future, to see what she looked like as an adult.   
  
But, Carlos had looked no different, so she was most likely not trapped in some sort of time warp.   
  
No... but nevertheless, something had changed. Her eyes didn't seem to have the same youthful sparkle they'd had only a few weeks ago. True, they had beheld such atrocities that it wouldn't seem fitting for them to still have the same optimism. Because even though her cuts and bruises no longer bled or hurt, and even though she'd found a happy medium between forced jubilation and the tears and anger that had come so naturally whenever she had to look at yet another giddy human being who "couldn't believe she was really the pink ranger!!", she was still a different person than she was before.   
  
She'd barely been home in a month. Sure, she stopped in to see the folks and listen to her aunts and uncles gush about how proud they were. But then, somewhere along the line, she grew uncomfortable. She couldn't even sit in her room and listen to CDs for an afternoon without the phone ringing. Or someone coming to the door... and the people that came! Well they were people she'd totally forgotten about.   
  
Sarah McDochen had even come to the door, and Cassie had had to stifle a laugh. In 6th grade, Sarah was her "best friend", but their friendship suddenly ended when the chubby redhead told the entire class that she saw Cassie picking her jeans out of a dumpster. But of course now, suddenly, Sarah wanted to be best friends again and even had the GALL to say she always loved how Cassie dressed.   
  
She'd suddenly found herself packing up even more of her already paltry still-at-home wardrobe and hurriedly explaining to her mom that she really had to run but she loved her very much, and won't-you-please-tell-Dad-I'll-write, but everything'll-be-okay-but-I-really-have-to-get-back-to-the-ship, and oh-yes-don't-you-let-me-forget-to-show-you-the-ship-but-oh-gosh-you-don't-want-to-see-it-now-it's-such-a-mess.  
  
"Going back into space will be nice for a change." She suddenly said. "We won't feel so much like we're hiding out."   
  
It was interesting the way her face moved when she said it. She really did look different, she truly did. Laughing suddenly, she twisted her hair into a sloppy updo and seductively lifted one shoulder. Then, she blew a kiss at the mirror.   
  
"Yes, Cassandra Chan, you are one sexy lady.", She purred, her mouth exaggeratedly enunciating every syllable.   
  
"Now this is sad. We're not even in space yet, and already she's gone mad." TJ's voice suddenly echoed from the other room.   
  
Cassie shot a sideways glare in his direction, and continued her masquerade. "Yess, daahling. Mad in every sense of the word. Now won't you fetch me my lambskin slippers and my dressing gown. I've an appointment to dine with the Prime Minister and heaven knows I mustn't be tardy."   
  
TJ appeared in the mirror behind her, his head held high. "Goodness no, you must be joking. They won't accept a woman of your stature. You'll absolutely dwarf the poor man with your gargantuan head."   
  
"Well then it's off to the water closet with me." She said, whirling around. For a moment, she scrutinized his facial features, and when she found them to be utterly unchanged from the last time she saw him, she added a "Ta-ta, Junior."   
  
"Junior." He repeated.   
  
*** 


	10. Chapter 9: Gods and B Movies

***  
  
His large eyes had become vacant and lifeless by the time darkness settled. Scanning the ground for any signs of her... he honestly thought by this time he'd even be able to recognize a fleck of her fingernails amidst the brush on the forest floor.   
  
Her scent must be traceable too, he thought suddenly, adrenaline racing through his heart as he realized that he'd overlooked such an obvious search criteria. Her scent... not just her body but the perfume of their mother's that she'd laughingly put on last night. Surely someone with a greater sense of smell would be able to detect it.. even so far away from her last sighting. Miles.. miles away..  
  
Miles away from home. Hours had passed, and the young boy had walked so far he could no longer even hear the regular sounds of the city or the suburban area where his home was. No, no.. but surely a monster wouldn't take a little girl into the city. If he was serious about finding her, it only made sense to go into the woods. That was, after all, where the footprints had come from.   
  
A few hours previous, he'd come to where the tracks (which he followed backwards, of course) began, thinking surely it would lead him to some sort of evil base.   
  
Instead, he found nothing but a small clearing under a tree. And no more tracks, anywhere.   
  
Of course, the first thing he did was climb the tree. Trees were an ideal place for a fort; he'd even wanted to build one to keep girls out. The thought shamed him then, and he wondered if it was God's way of telling him he was being selfish. "If you don't let your sister into your tree fort, I'm going to send down a big mean monster to kidnap her."   
  
It angered him beyond reason to find nothing. In his young and naive way he had seriously expected to find a secret passage, behind a branch or maybe just at the top of the tree.. surely in a knothole or maybe... maybe..   
  
The demon had to be here somewhere.   
  
What would he want with Karone? She was nothing special... she was just a sister! If he wanted a sister so badly, why didn't he just tell his mommy and daddy? Even writing to Santa Claus could have helped... but you didn't just go stealing someone else's sister.   
  
She'd been crying, screaming for Andros to help her. It was so different from when they played Power Rangers. Then, she was happy to play the fair maiden, because Andros the red ranger was always there. Always there to save her. "Yay, my hero!"   
  
Where was her "hero" when it really mattered.   
  
A moment later, he found himself on the ground, unable to breathe and wanting to scream. Above him, the sky had become far away and the spot he'd climbed to was now vacant, unchanged except for a few flakes of bark that had been ripped loose in the process of Andros' failed climb.   
  
Tears spurted from his eyes, the last time he showed any emotion. Foolish tears..  
  
Instead of crying anymore, he began to crawl along the forest floor, studying the footprints. The footprints that had to mean something. Just... god, anything would do.   
  
By the time it had really gotten dark, he realized that not only was he lost, cold, scared and hungry, but he'd come back across what used to be a clear and deep footprint and now was recognizable only as a slight indentation in the dirt. He strained his eyes but to his dismay, he saw that his own footprints dominated and eclipsed the original path with their maddening smallness, leading in endless circles.   
  
"But maybe some of those prints are hers!!!" He suddenly shrieked, falling to his knees to look at the freshest ones. He knew for a fact that his feet were only one shoe size larger than his sister's, and in his near-stupor it sure seemed feasable.   
  
Anything seemed feasable. Just as long as it turned out that the words he felt in his heart turned out to be untrue, he knew he'd do or believe anything. Anything.   
  
He'd believe absolutely anything except that she was gone. He'd believe that she was an ant on that cursed tree.   
  
No words could possibly hurt more than those that his father whispered an hour or so later, as an older man picked up Andros' body which had collapsed from exhaustion, not knowing or caring if he was found. He was only semi-awake, alert enough to murmur a response to the question "Are you Harke's boy?" but not enough to open his eyes when his father's familiar voice demanded for him to "Look at me, son, look at me, oh my god, are you all right??"   
  
In the backseat of the family car, the young child pressed his cheek into the soft leather and prayed that he'd wake up in another world, or at least his own world without any of this having happened. Indeed, the silence of his father and the other man, the one who'd asked if Andros was Harke's boy was very comforting. Not at all contradictory to Andros' wishes.  
  
And then, his father's exhausted voice.   
  
"The monster didn't touch Andros. Monnika had the hovercam capture the whole incident."   
  
"Well, thank god for that." The other man said politely.   
  
"Thank god for my only daughter being stolen?!" Dad's temper.   
  
"Dammit, Harke, you know what I mean. You've got a good son there, you know. He had to have been looking for her all day."   
  
"Instead of coming home and telling us? If we'd gotten the Power Rangers notified right away they could have stopped all traffic from leaving the Karova System. You're not going to tell me that demon teleported into the goddamned woods. He was on a ship, probably a freighter. General traffic, as common as anything. One scan and that beast would be in the mines faster than..."   
  
The other man sighed. "We've still got the squad on the lookout."   
  
"If he was stronger, this would have never happened. If he was stronger, he could have saved her."   
  
"Don't be stupid, Harke. Christ, the kid's in the backseat, he can probably hear every word we're saying! He's five years old!"   
  
"I know... I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I just feel like the worst father in the world. My daughter's probably dead right now.. or worse."   
  
Andros' eyes had widened, and even though sleep was rushing over his mind in perilous and tempting waves, he felt himself trembling at the thought.   
  
If only he were stronger... if he was stronger, he could have saved her.   
  
If he was stronger...  
  
If...   
  
He leaned his head over the side of the seat and vomited.  
  
***  
  
Andros again felt his stomach muscles contract, stronger... and he suddenly bolted upright and all the way forward as the animal toward the back of his mind sent physical warnings to his body to prepare, his stomach was about to expel something more.   
  
More...   
  
He hadn't thrown up to begin with.   
  
It was a dream... from years ago. The same old one from his childhood.. the one that usually did result in his having to race into the bathroom to spill his guts. But not this time.   
  
He blinked confusedly, rubbing his lower back. Just above his eye level, he saw Zhane curled up in bed. Momentary confusion flowed through him, but it was quickly dissolved as he looked over at the television and saw a 80's B-movie airing.   
  
He'd apparently never finished the film from last night, nor had he gotten a chance to go to his own bed. Great, he mused, noting the soreness he experienced from spending the entire night on the floor, not to mention having a very lucid nightmare.   
  
A nightmare...   
  
Which had been entirely comprised of actual events.   
  
Oh god.. the nausea returned, rising up into his chest. He unconsciously gagged and clapped his hand over his mouth.   
  
"She's here. She's here... she's safe!" He whispered, rocking back and forth and lowering himself back down to the floor.   
  
The television provided momentary distraction as he tried to soothe his queasiness; a blonde with the biggest hair Andros had ever seen was sitting on a dock with a young man with a mullet. They spoke ridiculously stilted dialogue against a hokey backdrop, made even cornier by the constant shaky shift in camera angles and poorly focused zoom-ins.   
  
"So tell me, officer... why is it that a handsome man such as you has never married?" The blonde asked, sounding as if she would have done much better in the movie from last night.  
  
"I was married, Jessica. But..." The man suddenly stopped in a ridiculously overacted "realization" of "having said too much", and he turned away from Jessica, staring at the water.   
  
"But what? You can tell me." She said, putting her hands on his shoulder.   
  
"Marshall Briggs. He found out where I lived." He said anticlimactically. "One night she heard a sound, and the next thing I knew she was lying in my arms, her poor beautiful heart bleeding all over my hands. I didn't even see it coming."   
  
The blonde's mouth opened in a painfully fake expression of shock. "Oh Corey. I had no idea."  
  
"So you see, Jessica..." Corey announced, getting to his feet. "That's why I can't see you anymore. Marshall's escaped from prison. He'll come after me again. Only this time, I'm all he's getting."  
  
"Oh darling, no! Please, I want to come with you!"   
  
"Jessica, I'll always love you, but this is a man's fight."  
  
She began to whimper pitifully. "What if... he should take... your life?"   
  
"He ain't taking nothing he ain't gonna lose first." He said, his voice suddenly booming and cracking as if it had been rapidly amplified by a microphone which wasn't prepared to do so. "If I'd been stronger, Marla would still be alive today."   
  
Andros felt a slight pang in his chest at the coincedental dialogue. He momentarily wondered if he'd seen this dialogue coming, as a sort of precognition, but it wasn't so. His father had indeed said the same thing.   
  
Hokey dialogue in one instance, painful memories fraught with regrets in another. How funny that things worked that way.   
  
"Sometimes things like that were meant to happen. You remember what I said about my brother? I believe it was his time!"  
  
"I don't want you to bring your God mumbo-jumbo into this!"   
  
Andros shook his head, putting his hands over his ears. This was truly getting painful. He decided to get up and turn off the television (among other things, it had to be morning by now), but as he was backed up against Zhane's bedside table, he was unaware of the slight ledge above him and he clipped his head against the sharp corner.   
  
Hissing and cursing in clumsy pain and anger, he curled back up into a ball on the floor. Above him, Zhane had swiftly emerged from his slumber, looking around in shock. "Who's there?!?!" He yelled, his fists raised.   
  
"Oww... no.. it's okay. I just hit my head."   
  
"Andros....?" Zhane asked suspiciously. "What are you doing in my room..?"   
  
"We were watching the movie last night, remember?!" Andros exclaimed, in no mood to deal with Zhane's early morning memory lapse.  
  
"What, didn't you ever leave? Oh, sorry. I konked out. How did it end?"  
  
"I don't know."   
  
"Did you fall asleep too?"   
  
"No, Zhane. I left 5 minutes before the end, went to my quarters, slept there peacefully all night, then just now I decided to come back and sit on your floor, just to throw you off."   
  
"Jeez, okay."   
  
"Look... sorry, but.. I really have to get moving. The ship won't move unless I give the word."  
  
"And you're absolutely certain you want to do it today." The words came out of nowhere.  
  
"What? Well.. of course.. December.. what, 2nd? Today?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"There we go then. I've got to get... god, so much to do."   
  
Onto his feet, again, this time successfully. He turned back around to look at Zhane. "0900?"   
  
"Oh... yeah, okay."   
  
"Why are you so hesitant?"   
  
"I'm not. It just seems like it came so fast. I think we should give it more time, that's all. Another week or something. But everyone else is ready to go, so what the hell."   
  
"Is there something I don't know?"   
  
"Just that the planet looks like complete hell and countless are dead or missing. I guess you probably do know that, way at the back of your head, but you don't seem too eager to admit it."   
  
"Of course I know that! That's why we're going back, to help. It's our home, it's our duty. It's not going to go away."  
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Yeah. I'm going to go see if Karone's up."   
  
"Have fun." Zhane said absently.  
  
"Oh, 'have fun'." Andros groaned, floating out the door. By all merits, he looked confident, cool, stable... everything the leader of the Power Rangers ought to be.   
  
And then, he reached my quarters.   
  
I must have scared the holy hell out of him. I really must have.   
  
*** 


	11. Chapter 10: Correction

***  
  
  
  
I'd forgotten to swallow.   
  
It had been I don't even know how long since I'd bridged the gap between horrified slumber and traumatized awakeness, it was sort of a slow, lazy process, very much dissimilar to the nightmares I'd experienced in my childhood.  
  
Words. Words alone had been the driving force behind this ungodly happenstance. Imagine that... the very words you speak slicing through your body, destroying you in and out.   
  
Words I couldn't even remember now in the clear light of day. Except for that awful voice that sounded so much, so very much like my own.. telling me what she referred to as "the truth". A maniacal jumble of images, and that stench.. the stench of death had been so real.   
  
Which made me ultimately wonder if it had really been... only a nightmare.  
  
Crying didn't seem the appropriate response.. it demanded more from me. I lay frozen in my bed, my limbs aching with inactivity and strain. I barely kept breathing, and as I said before, I forgot to swallow. Maybe it wasn't a matter of forgetting, exactly. Maybe I was paralyzed with the fear of swallowing one of those hellish words.   
  
Andros was standing over me, maddeningly backlit. I couldn't see his face, but I heard his voice.   
  
"Karone?!"  
  
Yes, that's me.   
  
  
  
That was the same voice, the same tone of voice I'd heard only moments ago in the dream.   
  
Andros.   
  
You have a secret, and you won't tell me. You promised.  
  
I felt my head rotating, and my eyes squinted to attempt to take the whole of him in. Perhaps I was squinting in a desperate attempt to see into his head. His memories.  
  
Because he was THERE.   
  
But so was I.  
  
Slowly, a smile crept up onto my face. "Ha ha... did I scare you?" I heard myself giggling.  
  
He reacted appropriately, first confusion, then relief, then annoyance flashed over him. "Very funny."  
  
Good. That worked well. Impromptu, but very effective. Giddily, I sprung to my feet and felt my muscles protesting the swift movement.   
  
"So, today's the day, isn't it?"   
  
Fear, panic. It won't do. It simply won't do. I'd done so well just now, so well. I inwardly beamed, this was what I'd been trained to do. Quick recovery in the face of adversity.  
  
("Humans were created with the cumbersome burden of emotion. I too was built in such a manner, which is why I speak the word with such an unappealing tone. I, however, am gifted in that I can simply deactivate my own adaptive emotional center. I believe my creator thought he was being clever when he implanted the coding into my mainframe.", Ecliptor had confided in me once. "However, through a strict series of mental programming techniques, many of which do involve deprivation of basic human activities, you can as well learn to control your creator's idea of a joke.")  
  
There was no need to be so drastic now, admittedly.. but at the very least I'd do well to pretend, as often as I could, that things were as well as I could possibly desire them to be. Wasn't emotion, after all, simply a chemical reaction to what you tell yourself about a situation?   
  
"It sure is." Andros said, making me jump. He'd been referring to my previous statement of the obvious. "Did you sleep okay?"   
  
"Never better." I said, grinning.   
  
"Wish I could say the same.. I.. ha ha. I fell asleep in Zhane's room." he laughed. "I hit my head on the table getting up."   
  
"Ooh, ouch!" I exclaimed. "Bet Zhane laughed his head off."   
  
"No, no." Andros laughed softly, shaking his head.   
  
It sort of shocked me. The assumption that such an act would amuse someone had come naturally to me, but as I thought about it, what did I really know about the way Zhane would respond to it? Was the simple act of laughing at someone else's pain, minor as it may be, looked upon as insensitive?   
  
I knew the rangers liked to tease each other, it was unusual to look upon at first, but I'd quickly grasped the reasoning behind it. But where exactly was the line to be drawn?   
  
"I worry too much." I said aloud, shaking my head.   
  
"About what?" Andros inquired.  
  
"Oh.. heh. It's silly, really. Let's forget it. I want to go to the bridge as soon as I've had my shower and breakfast. I want to watch the entire trip to KO35 right in the front row. I don't even want to miss a single star."   
  
He beamed, the worry and sleepiness entirely gone from his face. "That sounds like something we can manage." He gestured for me to follow him, and I left my bed in its sloppy condition, and hopefully with it all the thoughts that had haunted me.   
  
In the hall, I began to feel a little modest; the clothes I'd slept in were rather shamelessly cut; practically crotch-length pink shorts and an oversized off- the shoulder white t-shirt with pink sleeves. I was certain I looked ridiculous compared to Andros, who was still dressed in his slightly wrinkled uniform.   
  
Yet, it felt good to be worried about trivial things like that again. My appearance had become nearly secondary to me, and in comparison to the hours and hours I'd spent perfecting my makeup and hair.. back then... it was almost shameful how I'd let myself become so absorbed in my fretting.   
  
We entered the bathroom area, and I saw Ashley and TJ quietly talking amongst themselves. Ashley looked up with a big smile on her face upon our arrival.   
  
"Hey, you two! Good morning. I was starting to think we'd have to leave you both here." She skipped over to Andros and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.   
  
"It's not that late, is it?" Andros laughed. "I think Zhane's gonna be even later."   
  
"Yeah? He's in the shower right now." she giggled conspiratorially, gesturing behind her.   
  
Andros blinked, then sighed. "Okay, okay, I'm late."   
  
"Well, it was my fault." I confessed.   
  
"Nothing we can't handle. You know, Cassie was actually up at about 5 am. It was unbelievable. And Carlos is already on the bridge running diagnostics." TJ said dryly. "I've been in here for an hour and a half reporting problems with the water pressure. There's something majorly wrong with the sinks."   
  
"Oh no, don't tell me that." Andros groaned.   
  
"Don't even bother with the one Cassie left her pajamas in." TJ advised, then left.   
  
"Left her pajamas in..." I began, but Ashley put a finger to her lips.   
  
"We think she's got major cabin fever." She whispered.   
  
"Heard that." Cassie's voice echoed over the communication link. "TJ forgot to close the comm before he left."   
  
"No, he probably did close it and it just didn't register. The sooner we get in for repairs, the better." Andros mumbled.   
  
I gave a suitably amused grin, and then I headed into the female shower area, deliberately avoiding glancing at the mirror.   
  
*** 


	12. Chapter 11: Ascend

"...Just want to forget it ever happened. The whole thing. I think in time I will forget. For good or bad, it'll be completely wiped out. And won't that be nice? Then I can just be normal again. I will, too. Don't laugh. I can worry about petty things, and it won't matter. That'll be all there is. Do you want to help me forget? Do you? I'll dance at your wedding."   
  
My eyes jolted open and I sprung forward in my seat. The word "wedding" was echoing in my head, each time it repeated the quality degraded a little bit; almost like a transmission from badly out of range, a damaged vessel and her emotionally wrecked commander crying (begging?) for assistance, despite the fact that their pleas were muffled and distorted by distance and damage.  
  
"For the love of god, don't leave me here like this! Have you no human decency? My crew's dead. I need to forget.. need to forget it all. I'm scared of death, but don't tell NASADA. They'd ask where my spunk went. Where all my spunk went. Please, just.."   
  
"How DARE you ignore me!!!"   
  
I forced myself into full awakeness, shaking a bit. Looking around me with confusion, I saw no one else on the bridge. The words I'd heard, mixed with incomprehensible noises and almost believed to be spoken by someone right next to me, had all been a dream. Or what would have to pass for one, for lack of a better word.   
  
When had I dozed off, though? And what time was it? Of course, the viewscreen gave no indication whatsoever; it would forever display a deep, cold, star-filled abyss. Similar to Earth's nighttime in that respect.. except it never changed out here. Be it 3 am or 3 pm, the harsh darkness would never give way to even a hint of the sun. And why would it, the "sun" out here was nothing more than one tiny dot, one miniscule point of light amongst thousands.   
  
It had felt good, it really had. At first. To be back in space.   
  
The takeoff had been a bit shaky, enough to rattle my too-full stomach nearly to the breaking point. I felt the foul taste in my mouth rising upward, and I prayed a silent prayer that I wouldn't lose my breakfast all over the floor of the bridge of the finest vessel in the galaxy, oh lord no. How embarrassing.  
  
I'd seen the city ahead of me pivot, rising up and down and up and down in time with the Megaship. One moment, it was in full view and the next it gave way to the crystal blue sky, over and over and over again.   
  
At the ship's helm, Andros cursed with annoyance, as the other rangers spurted out status reports and nonsensical estimates in the form of "degrees".   
  
A moment later, success finally arrived. I felt the entire ship raising itself off the ground, and I'd begun to sigh with relief...  
  
Only to find the relief dissolving into a pit of despair as I felt a massive shudder and the viewscreen's brief delay replayed the view of the city crashing back into sight and confirming our worries that yes, that was earth's ground beneath us once again.   
  
I felt my heart in the back of my throat as the rangers' voices hummed rhythmically with their individual attempts to mechanically rationalize what had to me been nothing more than a great big scary boom. Andros turned in my direction but never met eyes with me. I recall thinking that he had no reason to be ashamed; so what if his ship didn't work. If worst came to worst, we could always take the--   
  
And what a maddening thought that was. Imagine. All of the gallant rangers and the sweet little girl, hovering over the planet KO35 in the Dark Fortress. Send the fair people of KO35 off the edge, that would. And when they landed, who should they expect to emerge? Surely they'd anticipate my entrance to be first, followed by an army of Quantrons and all the Rangers in chains. Or dead, bloodied and eternally stoic; thrown into the shocked crowd.   
  
With such a reputation preceeding me.. us.. what a shame it'd be to disappoint.   
  
WHERE DO THOUGHTS LIKE THAT COME FROM?! My mind screamed back at me, and I winced as I imagined an angry version of myself... Karone, whacking the hell out of Astronema. Astronema with blue hair.   
  
Not red.   
  
Although it could easily become red, with enough whacking.   
  
Andros had been silent a long time, and then he suddenly snapped to attention.   
  
"I know, it was a stupid thing to say, I'm sorry." I whispered. No one seemed to hear me, and the moment I'd finished, Andros began to speak.   
  
"Carlos, shift A/E coordinates to 3076.89, and ready backup power at my command. We're gonna want to get a good deal of momentum behind us."   
  
Such ridiculous words. But what they translated to was a successful launch.   
  
This time, we made it into the air, and we stayed there. Rising, rising, rising.   
  
Surely we must be in Heaven by now.   
  
The brilliant blue that had been so seemingly permanent a moment ago was slowly fading into white, and gradually darkening as we rose higher into the earth's atmosphere.   
  
Jump out now, and you'll suffocate. You might even burn yourself up, I warned myself stupidly.   
  
A moment later, my full attention was on the viewscreen, as a spectacular array of blues exploded into reality before me. I knew that shortly the blue would become black and the shrapnelesque stars would litter the pensive darkness, strewn about haphazardly into patterns that only God or the clinically insane could comprehend.   
  
But for now, I thought about Cassie's words about eternalizing something like that.. and I wondered if I could. Without even blinking.. just staring lifelessly at the viewscreen.. maybe it would last forever.   
  
I'd spoken too soon, and in a split second it ended. Beneath us all the earth slowly backed itself away from us, as if it had established that we weren't to be trusted, and its attempts to keep us in its clutches had been all in vain.   
  
"Fine, see if I care. Go on, git. It's your funeral, after all," Earth seemed to be saying. "I tried to reason with you, but you just wouldn't listen. Just don't come crying to me when you see it."   
  
"Engaging Hyperrush engines.. now don't go sour on me, sweetheart." Someone said. Cassie. It could only be her.. her and her cabin fever, they'd called it.   
  
"Let's hope they make it; I really don't like the idea of getting there on impulse alone." TJ said soberly.   
  
I bit my lip, folding my hands in my lap.   
  
And now that I really thought about it, that was the last clear memory I'd had. I'd barely seen the stars for 2 minutes, and already they were so haunting and tiresome.   
  
So, why had everyone gone off and left me alone?   
  
Maybe it's more comfortable for them. Who knew.. they'd maybe all gotten together after I'd zoned out, all whispering conspiratorially and probably looking real guilty, all of them saying things like "maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.." and "did you SEE her?!", and they'd all slunk off to brood and consider my welfare, while keeping the real truth concealed.   
  
Which truth, I wondered. The Truth, or the fact? that I was totally losing my mind.   
  
"Space madness." I murmured, jumping a bit at the broken silence.   
  
"Aiyiyi!! Karone, you're awake?" A pleasant and squeaky voice inquired. I whirled around and saw nothing but.. oh, of course. The robot. I'd nearly forgotten about the presence of the robot, it had grown oddly distant the last few weeks, despite the Rangers' tight camaraderie with one another as well as their two artificial intelligences.   
  
Robot simply wouldn't do. I recalled suddenly a nearly lost memory. A charade. The last great stand against "evil". Clad in my trademark armor and that (blue) wig, I had referred to the robot as... well, "Robot".   
  
It had replied back that it would prefer to be addressed as... something else. It slipped my mind.   
  
"What time is it...?" I asked, trailing off. I'd made it clear that I'd forgotten the name.   
  
"By Earth's Pacific Standard time, it is 11:34 hours." A pleasant female voice replied. Not that of the robot's.   
  
"What she said." The robot replied, pointing to the ship's computer. "You fell asleep, and the rangers left just a minute ago to go fix some lunch. They figured they could trust you with the bridge."  
  
Was that true?   
  
I frowned. "I don't know why I fell asleep. Guess I was a little exhausted from that launch."   
  
"That's understandable. Can I get you anything? How about a glass of milk?"   
  
For some reason, the robot's unfaltering pleasant demeanor made me grin. "No.. thank you. Except.. I'm really sorry, but I think I forgot your name."   
  
"It's Alpha. I'm glad you asked."   
  
"Oh... Alpha. Right. Thank you."   
  
"Everyone has memory lapses now and then." Alpha replied cheerfully.   
  
"You have no idea." I said wryly.   
  
"So, how does it feel to finally be going back home?" He asked, never missing a beat.   
  
"It's really exciting." I said almost carelessly. All at once, I didn't want to be talking to this robot. Alpha. Whatever. Although I was very careful now with how I said things to everyone else, surely this robot could be swiftly dismissed with just a cavalierly-uttered turn of phrase; a blatant indication that I had much better things to do than shoot the bull with a mere inorganic AI Jeeves.   
  
"I can imagine it is. It reminds me of the first time I saw Edenoi; that was the planet where the first Alpha models were designed and built. Even though I wasn't built there, it still felt just like home."   
  
"Oh." I replied.   
  
"In fact, that was the first time I ever heard the name 'Zordon'."   
  
I frowned. "Zordon..."   
  
"Yes..." And the robot heaved a mechanical sounding sigh.   
  
What was the sigh for?!   
  
"Wait a minute.. please forgive me but... do you mean to tell me that you still haven't found Zordon?" I asked incredulously.   
  
It truly was a staggering thought. Admittedly, the last time I'd even heard the name was on that godforsaken planet, where the decoy Zordon had turned out (to both my and Andros' shock) to be Dark Specter in disguise. But that was a full month ago.. even more, in fact. And since so much had changed.. how could they have not found him yet?   
  
Alpha didn't reply for the longest time; he just stood there, its saucer-shaped head pointed in my direction. Scrutinizing me? Hoping I'd be able to assist in the quest to find Zordon?   
  
Finally, he spoke. His voice was a bit wavery, but it quickly steadied itself.   
  
"Karone.. Zordon was on your ship. Don't you remember that?"   
  
I stared at him in disbelief.   
  
"My ship?"   
  
"Andros had..." The squeaky voice trailed off, as if someone had just flashed a glare at him to shut him up.   
  
This couldn't be... Zordon was NEVER on the Dark Fortress. That would have been too much of a damn giveaway. We'd be open to enemy fire with the power we'd have to reroute to powering that damned tube. Our shields would be down, anyone could take full advantage of us. How ridiculously stupid would we have to be to...  
  
"Andros had what?", I blurted out all of a sudden.   
  
"I'm sorry." Alpha said, the unconditional glee erased from his mechanical voice. "I can't disclose any further details."   
  
My eyes widened painfully, and I felt dizziness whirling behind them. My entire body felt as if it would collapse into unconsciousness if I spoke.   
  
It seemed almost unnecessary to speak. The few foolish words the robot had spoken had as much as opened a private channel between my mind and the databanks inside the robot's memory.   
  
Oh, you foolish robot you. Andros would sure be angry at you if he knew what you almost did.   
  
The closely guarded Truth had nearly come out, spurting from a friendly conversation like disgusting orange rust in a seldom-used faucet. Plunk, plunk, before you know it, Andros' little secret is out in the open, easily scrutinizable and embraceable by anyone. Anyone. Even sweet lil' Karone.   
  
So Zordon was part of it. Zordon.. on the dark fortress.   
  
It made no sense, but I held onto that little tidbit like a crazed, greedy child held holding onto a stolen lollipop. It's mine, fair and square. Mine to turn over in my head over and over again, to draw conclusions from, to build on until it all came flooding out.   
  
"Andros had..." was mine as well. As worthless as those two words seemed, it was still progress. I'd suddenly began feeling so positively glowing with evil, evil that threatened to throw me completely off the brink, never to return.   
  
But instead, I shook it off, and I flashed Alpha a blinding smile.   
  
"That's okay, Alpha. I'm just a little disoriented."   
  
The robot showed no signs of acknowledgement, much less relief or distrust. He just nodded, and said something again about lunch being ready soon.   
  
Within a matter of seconds after the last word he'd spoken, the lift whirred open, and who should enter the bridge but Andros.   
  
"Oh, you're up. How are things?" He said pleasantly.  
  
"Just fine." I grinned. "When do you think we'll get there?"  
  
"Uh.. well, if we stay on our current course and don't run into any disturbance, we should get there before midnight."   
  
MIDNIGHT. 


	13. Chapter 12: Prisoners at the Mess Hall T...

Our lunch conversation was light, bubbly, full of laughter and joking. All 6 rangers and me, sitting around the table, eating sandwiches and drinking the beverage Cassie often referred to as "pop". It was green, almost neon green, and it gave me a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.   
  
Just one of those things.  
  
I heard laughter rising above the rest of the chatter, and it caught my attention. I looked up and saw Zhane completely cracking up. When he saw me, however, he tried to conceal his amusement.   
  
"What? What's so funny?" I asked.   
  
"S-- I'm sorry, Karone," He managed to get out before erupting into another giggle.   
  
"Hey, you two better not be doing anything under the table." Carlos mock-reprimanded us.   
  
"Huh?!" I exclaimed, pushing my chair back.   
  
The other rangers laughed boisterously while Zhane tried to compose himself. I felt my face growing red, and I looked at Carlos in smiling disbelief.   
  
"No, no no. It wasn't even a big deal. See, Karone, you were sitting there..." He choked on the words, swallowed and continued. "Sitting there, staring into your pop, and it' was so green and it like.. reflected on your skin and you had this... other-wordly glow. It was creepy-looking. Sorry, Karone. I didn't mean to embarrass ya."   
  
He flashed a grin, and I felt my face heating up even more.   
  
"Oh." Was all I could think of to say. And then I began to laugh, too, at my own folly. "Well.."  
  
The first silence of the lunch hour, while I tried to think of what the hell I was talking about.   
  
"I bet I looked kind of like Zordon, huh?" I asked, forcing laughter out of my throat.   
  
The second silence of the lunch hour.   
  
No one seemed even remotely sure what to say. Believe me when I say it, because I had enough time, in just the moments between my little jest and the next words spoken, to take a good hard look at the expressions of everyone at that lunch table.  
  
Everyone.   
  
The emotions ran the line all the way from stunned apprehension (Andros) to baffled, timid amusement (Cassie), to a concerned glance in everyones' directions (Ashley), a speculative pondering gaze at me (TJ), a questioning look around to see who was still eating (Zhane) and even an incriminating glare, quickly replaced by a neutral taking-in of the table surface (Carlos).   
  
And oddly enough, it was Carlos who first spoke.  
  
"Zordon's energy tube was blue." He said.   
  
I found myself smiling at that. Luckily, it was the kind of smile that could pass both as a sheepish, demure smile and a cold, chilling smirk.  
  
"Was?" I asked. My voice was dripping with sweetness.   
  
This was it. This HAD to be it. It had been inadvertant, but suddenly, I knew it was all within my reach. The Truth. The real, honest to god in heaven truth. The answer to everything I'd been questioning. Everything I'd agonized over.   
  
It was time.   
  
Ashley cleared her throat and I heard her ask if anyone would like some more carrot sticks. I turned to her, smiling widely.   
  
"Just a minute, Ashley, won't you? Carlos hasn't answered my question yet."   
  
He looked at me darkly, and I could feel Andros breathing apprehensively behind me.   
  
Go on, brother. Go on and confess it. Confess the truth. The naked truth. End this all. Now.   
  
Like that girl, Kendrix had said...   
  
I won't shed any more blood for this. Or tears, for that matter.   
  
"Did something happen?" I asked, my voice growing louder.   
  
Carlos looked past me, to Andros. I exaggeratedly followed his glance and propped my elbows on the table. "Hey. What are you looking at Andros for?" I asked, looking at Andros the whole time. "He's not the one I asked."   
  
"Karone.." Andros began.   
  
"Yes, brother? What is it?" I inquired, my voice raising powerfully. My smile was gone.   
  
"Look.. just... just calm down. Please."   
  
"Calm down? I'd love to. But you see, Carlos here said something very very interesting, and I simply must know more! What is it, Andros, that happened to cause us to refer to Zordon in the past tense?"   
  
I loved it. The raw energy pulsing through my veins. The fresh power I felt, dewy as the morning, brand new and ready for me. Only for me.   
  
"Karone, we can't talk about this right now." He said quietly.   
  
"Wrong answer, Andros." I whispered, the smile returning to my innocent face.   
  
I remembered that kind of innocence. The innocence that fools trusted, that got them killed. It was a joke to call me innocent. It really was.   
  
"Now, I don't know why we can't just discuss this maturely, like adults. Why does everything have to be 'later'? Why can't we discuss anything now? Is there something you're worried about? Because you know--" I got to my feet and leaned over the table. "...Adults don't put things off like this."   
  
I laughed quietly and looked at the rest of the rangers, who were all clearly stunned.   
  
"Anyone care to start the story? I believe it begins... 'Once upon a time...'" I recited in a mock little girl's voice.  
  
*** 


	14. Chapter 13: The Choice

Ashley was clearly contemplating doing something about me.   
  
To her credit, she had no qualms about making eye contact with me. That was pretty good, bordering on impressive for a woman of her nature. At first, I almost thought that she was going to play her self-designated role of Andros' worrysome girlfriend all the way through this little get-together. I even thought maybe she'd slip up and say something that couldn't be taken back. That would have been a great help to me, admittedly. I didn't want to be at this forever.  
  
But as it turned out, behind those pretty eyes her mind was cranking like clockwork, trying to ponder a way out of this. She saw me as an enemy again. Automatically.   
  
And she hid it very poorly, too. I noticed her trying to meet Carlos' eyes, and I nonchalantly shifted my body into her line of vision, smiling down at her. She swallowed and gave her best smile back to me. I held onto it for a moment, and then leisurely inhaled, shifting my weight so that I was leaning over her chair.   
  
"I'd really hoped we could discuss this as friends, you know. After all, we've lived together for all these weeks... and I felt us growing rather close." I breathed, gratuitously playing the guilt card. "I thought the feeling was mutual. Thought we could talk about things."   
  
Ashley didn't speak, she looked flustered.   
  
I lingered my gaze on her honey-colored hair for a moment longer, then abruptly turned away from the entire table, my arms crossed. "I'm not going to hold any of you here against your will. You know why I'm not going to do that?"   
  
No one responded.   
  
"Because it'd be ridiculous! I weigh about 110 pounds! Any of you could take me!" I laughed, whirling back around energetically. "Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I'm not evil anymore. And people that aren't evil don't take hostages."   
  
"Karone, we know you're not evil." Andros said, rationality dripping from his every syllable. He said it quietly, as if he were a hostage negotiator. It was then that I knew I'd crossed a line in his mind. Recrossed it, rather. I'd gone back to what he considered a delicate subject, ready to crack at any moment. Unstable, unpredictable. For all he knew, I could have them all in handcuffs.   
  
  
  
It was an insulting thought. Hadn't I already proven my goodness to them before? Just because I was taking control of what I considered to be an unacceptable situation didn't mean my pure, snow-white soul had been polluted by the soot of evil.   
  
I felt my brow furrowing beneath a strand of hair that had somehow come loose from the cute, pink barrettes I wore as a routine show of sweetness, and I slowly rounded the table until I was standing right behind Andros.   
  
A few seats down, Ashley shifted in her seat and looked ready to jump to her feet. The thought amused me to no end.   
  
Yes, Ashley. Make sure and prepare yourself to prevent the harm I'm sure to do to your beloved.   
  
"You're absolutely correct. You do know I'm not evil. But that's not to discount the grand education I received while I *was* evil. I've learned to deal with almost any enemy in a timely and devastating manner. But that's rather irrelevant here, since none of us are enemies. Silly me." I resumed circling the table, breaking into a skip at times. "So, since we're all friends, why not relax a bit. We were having such a nice conversation before. I asked a simple question, and no one has answered me."   
  
Cassie reached slowly to her clear glass of pop, and looking bemusedly at me the whole time, she took a short sip which nearly emptied the already half-empty (or is it half-full, Cassie?) glass.   
  
"Like me to get you a refill, Cass? Since I'm up already." I offered.   
  
She looked around the table, and a short giggle emerged from her lips. "No, I think everyone else would be more than happy to let me have theirs. You're not gonna drink that, are ya Carlos?"   
  
He looked at her in disbelief. "Something like this going on, and you're worried about pop?!"   
  
"Something like what? What, you guys can't tell me you're surprised that it came to this! You just put off telling her for this long, hoping what? That she'd forget? Christ, Andros, if you won't tell her, I will." She took Carlos' glass and drank from it, looking at me speculatively.   
  
"I was not hoping she'd forget. You'd forget," He quickly said, kindly offering me the dignity of not being referred to in the third person. It was a surprising revelation, something from so long ago.   
  
"Thank you." I said, looking both at him and Cassie. "Now we're talking. You don't seem so comatose anymore. Unfortunately, some of us still aren't offering much in the way of friendly conversation. TJ, what can you contribute to this?"   
  
He shrugged, looking at the rest of the rangers. "I can't say much. I don't know where you'd like to begin."   
  
"Well, let's see. First of all.. what happened to Zordon.. and who did it?"   
  
He turned his gaze to me with a look that expressed somberness. "Zordon was destroyed. His energy tube was shattered."   
  
"Shattered." I repeated, trying not to show the shock I felt inside. "How in the hell did that happen?"   
  
He didn't speak for a moment, but I scarcely noticed. I imagined the worst-case scenario. A confrontation between Dark Specter and Zordon that didn't end well, perhaps? Who knew what happened after I joined the rangers. Dark Specter obviously had been furious about it, maybe it was a poorly-staged negotiation of some kind. Or just an act of rage. Or stupidity.   
  
Not to mention... what on earth would become of the energy in that tube? We knew it was one of the greatest power sources in the galaxy. What could that much power do if it was loose?   
  
And turning to the human, emotional standpoint.. what could the loss of Zordon of Eltar do to the infrastructure of the galaxy? He brought the Power Rangers together, defeated countless villains, was a mentor to millions of people.   
  
It occurred to me that someone was speaking, very low and reluctant. I looked across the table and found that it was Andros. He was looking downward, his hair shielding his eyes in 2 sleek brown curtains that almost brushed against the table.   
  
"I did it."   
  
Ashley drew in a tearful-sounding gasp.   
  
Surely this wasn't news to her, too! No.. because Cassie said she'd tell me. TJ began to tell me. Obviously Andros had confided in the other rangers. It was just Ashley's reaction to the way his voice had quivered as he spoke.   
  
"You... you did it?" I asked quietly.   
  
"Yes." He tilted his head upward and I saw that his eyes were brimming with tears and anger.   
  
"Wh... I don't understand..." I said, feeling myself practically shrinking into the corner.   
  
"Of course you don't understand. But you were there, Karone. You just don't remember it. You don't know how fortunate you are that you don't remember it."  
  
"I was there?!" I cried, shaking my head. "What the hell happened?! Why did you--"   
  
"BECAUSE I HAD TO!! I have a responsibility to the galaxy and no matter how much it hurt, I had to do it! I had no other choice!!" He jumped to his feet, his chair teetering precariously beneath him. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want it to hurt you the way it's hurt me, every day! Sometimes I can't even face myself when I think about you. How stupid I was to let you go back there. Whatever you did, however many people died, even Zordon's death, it's MY fault because I was a big enough jackass to let you go back there!! I was trying to rectify it! And I was glad to see that demon crumble to dust. It was the one consolation I had after seeing my mentor shatter beneath my sword. Knowing that he'd never corrupt you again was the one consolation I had!"   
  
He spoke so fast, and so hysterically, that my head was spinning. In vain, I briskly shook it and blinked to try to make sense of what he'd said.   
  
Ashley had gotten to her feet and tried to embrace him, but he shrugged her off, his hands clenched into fists. He inhaled and continued, his eyes drilling through me.   
  
"Karone... sister.. do you really want to know the truth? I'll tell it to you. I will. I'll make good on my word.. but it'll hurt like hell. Do you understand that? It's gonna hurt like hell. It might hurt you worse than it's hurt me. Do you want to know? Honestly? You can live in the dark for the rest of your life, Karone. Wondering, all the wondering in the world... you can have it. You can draw your own conclusions, write your own story. I'm offering you that, Karone. We're going back to KO35, you can stay there, and in time you'll completely forget. You won't care anymore. You might even be glad that I did what I did, I don't know. You can turn a blank chapter into your life into salvation from knowing what I know. I'd give anything to not have had to see any of it.. and I'm offering that opportunity to you. Will you take it? Or do you still want to know the truth?"   
  
I was stunned. Absolutely stunned. So much pouring out of my brother, all at once.. could the truth really be so horrible? So horrible as to reduce the greatest warrior in recent history to what I saw before me? Blubbering, practically begging me not to ask any more.. if it affected him that deeply, what would it do to me?  
  
Shame poured over me. Selfish, stinging shame. How stupid was I? Did I really think that he was keeping the truth from me because of a selfish desire for control over me? Did I really think the brother that I loved and admired was that neurotic and possessive? I must have.. and this stupid show I'd put on just now... what was I trying to prove? What the hell did I think I was DOING?!   
  
I'd been trying to get what was "rightfully mine"... but is anything ever "rightfully" anyone's? Is it anyone's right to know everything, even if knowing it destroys someone else's life? We're told that living in illusion is immature, childish, a sign of not being able to handle the truth. Humans like me labelled people who lived in an unreal scenario "mad". We call them delusional and lock them up. But what if they were faced with a situation like mine, and living in a fantasy was the only alternative to destroying someone else? Would I have any right to criticize someone who knowingly did such a thing?   
  
But still...   
  
*** 


	15. Chapter 14: Killed

***  
  
When I was a little girl, words fascinated me. Especially the words I couldn't define, but that always seemed to have an impact on someone else. It surprised me that just spoken words could hurt someone so much.   
  
Ecliptor once told me in the middle of a training session that you can slash someone to pieces and if their will is still strong to the end, you've destroyed them. But if you slash them to pieces and then assault them with words as they lie bleeding to death, you've truly killed them.   
  
I wondered how killing was superior to destroying, and in my contemplative state, I wasn't paying attention to the blade he as my opponent wielded, and I forgot the defense I was supposed to concentrate on. My hand rose up to counter the sword as I suddenly came to my senses, and the next thing I knew, my palm was stinging like hell and I felt hot liquid dripping down my wrist, despite the thick leather gloves I always wore.  
  
He had dropped his sword immediately and actually caught me before I protectively dropped down on top of my wound, as I was prone to doing in my young age. He pulled the glove off and whisked it aside in one swift motion, and he studied the cut on my palm as I gritted my teeth, trying not to cry.   
  
"Please forgive me, Princess. I.. I often forget that you aren't... you're a magnificent fighter.. please forgive me..." He was murmuring, pressing down on the cut without even thinking.   
  
I remember the owner of the training facility we often used. A short, ornery mutant in armor, with the head of a pig. He charged by the move, which never made any sense to me, but angry at loss of money was an emotional state he often ended up in around me, and the next thing I knew, he was storming into the steel-walled room, carrying some sort of meat in one hand. His mouth was often full, and he was hard to understand because he often lapsed into another language while speaking.   
  
"You don't fight, now what this about?!" He managed to spurt out. "I tell you don't bring that in here if you're not going to fight, huh, we discuss payment now--"   
  
"Get some bandages." Ecliptor commanded coldly. When he spoke like that, it was no time to be standing around chewing gristle, but the owner was in absolutely no hurry.   
  
"What happen, the orga dugo hurt herself?" He asked, relishing his cleverness and taking another bite of meat.   
  
I found out later "dugo" was a term for child-whore in certain circles.  
  
Ecliptor slowly turned his head to meet the blank, beady eyes of the pig with his own expressionless, red glass slits. He got to his feet, slowly letting go of my hand.   
  
"I believe I asked you to get some bandages, Mr. Schiko."   
  
"I believe it not your place give orders around here! Tell the orga to act like man!" He exaggeratedly flexed his arms and made a grunting sound. "Man! Why you trying to train little dugo, anyway? What she give you in return at home, huh?"   
  
"Mr. Schiko, I'm afraid your establishment is about to undergo some changes." Ecliptor said with surprising calmness.   
  
"Oh what, you report me to IPP? You see my papers all in order!"   
  
"I was thinking more of a change in management. Your principles are deplorable. May your wife and son feast on your remains." He said, his voice raising at the end of the sentence. With that, he extended his sword and shot a great green blast of lethal energy, frying Mr. Schiko before he was able to say "Hey, you don't point thing at me!"   
  
Immediately after he finished with Mr. Schiko, he strode out of the room, returning a moment later with a coarse brown rolled bandage.   
  
As he tended to my wound, it almost seemed impossible that he was the same one who just obliterated another living being without a second thought.   
  
"Is that what you meant about assault with words?" I asked, flinching as the cloth made contact with my open skin.   
  
"Yes. I apologize for that. I imagine we'll have to cut our session short today, as most likely the Interplanetary Police will want to know what this was all about."   
  
"But you think his spirit was.. um.. hurt bad when he died?"   
  
"Certainly. Although, he wasn't exactly an opponent. People like that.. you're doing a favor to destroy before they pollute the air any further."   
  
"Not destroy. You mean kill." I said, grinning.   
  
He stopped for a moment, and looked at me. Then he laughed. An artificial laugh, but he'd practically perfected it despite the fact that he didn't have lungs and it wasn't a natural response. It was disarming, but as a child, it made me feel happy inside.   
  
We went home that night, and although he was quiet as always, I found myself smiling almost the entire time. He no longer felt it necessary to hold my hand, but I offered it to him and he took it without ceremony. I occasionally skipped, but felt foolish and then stopped, concentrating on meeting his walking pace.   
  
  
  
It was like that a lot back then. The games I talked about earlier.. they popped out of the most unusual circumstances. But they made me so happy.   
  
They really did.   
  
And now.. I don't know if it was innocence... or if there really was that much magic in those horror-story turned childhood memory. I'm biased, thinking about it and smiling. Were I to tell Andros that story.. he probably wouldn't get it. Cassie might, but I truly believe no one else would really see what I saw.   
  
That Ecliptor wasn't just an evil, diabolical presence. He wasn't just the enemy of good and one of the henchmen of an evil empress.   
  
He was the protector of a lost, frightened little girl. The salvation of someone who thought she lost everything she knew. A teacher of every one of life's important lessons.   
  
And I.. I wasn't just a kidnapped child. I wasn't just a good person turned evil by corruption. I wasn't just a destroyer of worlds disguised as an innocent girl.   
  
I was... what was I?  
  
I was someone with a chunk missing from my life, wasn't I?  
  
I needed to know. At least with the truth as an option.. I could make my own decisions about it.   
  
I needed at least that much.   
  
*** 


	16. Chapter 15: Things Fall Apart

The table was empty except for Cassie and Ashley, and they could hardly find words to speak to each other now. Distressing, perhaps, because they always could think of something worth spending their breath on, but now it was as if a rift had developed between them, and dinner was silent.   
  
So different from lunch, just 5 short hours before.   
  
Cassie stirred her specially-ordered chow mein around her plate with her fork, and glanced sideways at Ashley for what seemed to be the hundredth time that evening. She could hardly tolerate silence, and the uncomfortable and impersonal silence of their usually companionable dining was especially difficult. She actively sought out even a hint of civility, but her search was in vain. Ashley kept her eyes locked on her plate and only shifted them when reaching for her beverage.   
  
A cough penetrated the silence, and Cassie quickly covered her mouth before it exacerbated into a reeling hack, which it indeed did. It never failed; winter was nearly upon her hometown, and despite the fact that she was lightyears from home, her body still knew it was early December and time to develop a miserable cold. It never did make sense to her that she could get such colds in California, sneezing and bundling up in 70 degree weather never appealed to her, and the irony was that she had once taken a trip to Montana and in the 20 degree mountains, wearing a child's down coat and boots, she never had so much as a sniffle.   
  
Ashley failed to acknowledge her discomfort, and Cassie drew an unabashed sigh. If only there was someone else to join them; TJ or Carlos or Zhane. But, unfortunately, TJ was very concerned about the port hyperspeed generator and had elected to spend dinner in the engine room with Zhane as his unwitting assistant.   
  
And, Carlos had been so inexplicably angry about what occurred at lunch that he had retreated to his quarters immediately after Andros gave Karone the ultimatum. He hadn't been seen for hours, Cassie mused.   
  
As for Karone and Andros... they too had yet to emerge from their private area, and Cassie felt worry grow in her midsection as she recalled the events leading up to their harried departure.   
  
***   
  
Karone sank into the nearest chair, a haunted look in her eyes. The rest of the rangers felt a similar discontentment at seeing their intrepid leader breaking down in such a manner. It had all been so sudden, but now the enjoyable companionship of just a minute or two ago was completely dissolved.   
  
Ashley had been breathing hard for several seconds, and all of a sudden she broke out into a ragged series of sobs, turning away from the table and clutched her hair in fistfuls as she tried to regain her composure. Cassie just looked at Karone, then Andros, then Karone with a jaded sort of interest.   
  
A badly-stifled wail emerged from Ashley's lips, and suddenly Carlos leapt to his feet, rattling the table. Karone looked up at him in surprise, an expression he met with rage.   
  
"If I may be excused, I've got something I need to do." He said viciously.   
  
The silence that came in his wake lasted for several minutes, broken only by Cassie's occasional drink of pop. Karone's steady gaze at her hands lasted the entire silence, and it was ultimately an inadvertant knuckle crack from those hands that broke the silence and triggered the words that changed the rest of the day.   
  
"Andros, I'd like you to tell me." She said, her voice quivering.   
  
Ashley whirled around at the sound of her voice, and narrowed her red-rimmed eyes. "Why?" She asked incredulously.   
  
Karone frowned. "B..because..."   
  
"Didn't you hear him?! Look at him, Karone! He's your brother, for god's sake! Don't you care about him?!"   
  
"Ashley," Andros said loudly.   
  
"Andros, I stood idly by when you went back to get her once, but this is ridiculous. Why make things more miserable than they already are?!"   
  
Karone looked puzzled at the comment about standing idly by, and Cassie cocked her head with a comforting smile.   
  
"She... she has a right to know. Karone.. are you absolutely sure?"   
  
"Yes. Yes, I am." She answered weakly. "I'm so sorry.."   
  
He pushed his hair behind his ear and shrugged. His movements were highly contrary to what his face expressed, but he casually walked across the room and took Karone's hand. "Then let's go."   
  
"Right... right now?" She asked.  
  
"Yes. Right now."   
  
Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she suddenly leapt to her feet and hugged Andros with all her might.   
  
"Thank you...." she whispered. "Thank you...."   
  
***   
  
Ashley cleared her throat, and Cassie turned expectantly toward her. However, instead of it becoming a segue to some sort of conversation, it erupted into a cough similar to the one Cassie earlier experienced. After a few seconds of coughing, Ashley reached for her glass and drowned her throat in iced tea.   
  
Cassie smiled privately and took a bite of her chow mein.   
  
"Dammit, Cassie. You gave me your cold." Ashley muttered suddenly. She was rewarded with a snap of Cassie's head and an insulted frown.   
  
"I did not. I get colds every year around this time. I bet you do too."   
  
"What? I never get colds. Never. You gave this to me."   
  
Cassie shrugged. "I'm always the generous one." She said, giggling. A small, almost infinitesimal smile crept onto Ashley's face as she lifted her eyes from her plate for the first time all evening.   
  
"Hey, Cassie.. uh.. sorry I'm so quiet. I guess... I uh.. I'm just worried about Andros." She said lightly and almost defiantly.   
  
"I know. I'm worried, too. It's hard not to be. Karone tries so hard to be strong, but sometimes..."   
  
"Karone? You're worried about her?"   
  
"Aren't you?"   
  
Ashley sighed. "After the way she acted... I don't know how I feel. I mean, I was scared, you know? I thought... I thought Karone was really gone, you know what I mean? It was like Astronema was back.. her eyes had no life in them."   
  
"I know. It was really creepy, wasn't it?" Cassie concurred. "But something must have brought it on."   
  
"Do you think so? I'm not so sure... I mean... I have no reservations about saying that I think this is a really bad idea."   
  
"What is?"   
  
"Telling her about everything. Do you think she can handle it?"   
  
"Well... sure."   
  
"Cassie, seriously! I don't think it's safe."   
  
"What's so unsafe about it? I think it's the not knowing that's the most difficult. I mean, she'll be upset.. but she's got to realize that she was legitimately unaware of her actions and not at fault."   
  
Ashley shook her head. "I don't know why it's taking so long."   
  
"I don't either.. it's aggravating."   
  
A sigh from Ashley, and she pushed her plate off to the side. "I can't finish this. You want some of it?"   
  
"No... I'm good."   
  
Ashley seemed to spend a moment thinking that over, and then she got up. "Jeez, I haven't seen Carlos in hours, either. He's really mad about the whole thing."   
  
"Yeah.. what do you think his problem is?" Cassie asked casually. It wasn't an insult or a statement of contempt coming from her, but rather a genuine query, though perhaps not worded very delicately.  
  
"Cassie, you have to admit that... that we're not all in agreement about how this should go. Carlos was really opposed to how things went down, you know?"   
  
"Well, yeah, but I mean, he could... at least come out for dinner."   
  
Almost immediately following her utterance of the word "dinner", Zhane appeared in the doorway, looking frustrated as he ran a hand through his short, white-blonde hair.   
  
"Hey. How are the engines?" Ashley asked, pushing aside her concern about Andros.   
  
He shrugged, taking a seat. "Beats me. TJ says we're going to KO35 at the right time, though. It's possible the engines wouldn't have made it if we'd put it off. As it is, we've had to reroute other functions to make sure they run as smoothly as they can."   
  
"Sounds serious..." Cassie said, chewing.   
  
"Nah, we'll make it. He likes to exaggerate." Zhane said, looking at Ashley's abandoned plate. Ashley slid it over to him, and he momentarily hesitated before digging in.   
  
"So, we should make it.. before tomorrow, right?" Ashley asked.   
  
"Yeah, Andros says between midnight and 0100."   
  
"So, a late night."   
  
"Yeah, and then being inconspicuously whisked off the ship and put up in KO35's most luxurious and accomodating tents, just outside the planet's most bustling cave." Zhane remarked.  
  
"Oh, come on, Zhane. It can't be that bad." Cassie said with annoyance.   
  
"Sure it can. And it is. I don't know how they're going to fix the ship unless they had some way of protecting their storehouses and factories from Astronema."   
  
"That's... not exactly a good thing."   
  
"Which is what I tried to tell Andros this morning. Oh god, speaking of..."   
  
"No. He's still gone." Ashley cut him off.   
  
"What's taking so long?!"   
  
"I have no clue. No damn clue."   
  
***  
  
I must say, the words "no damn clue" seemed almost sacred to me at the time that Cassie and Ashley were so idly wondering about where I was. I hungered, thirsted for the ability to once again be able to say that I, in fact, had "no damn clue" about my past.   
  
Ironic, isn't it? That for so many weeks I lived and breathed desire to know what had happened, and now, just as Andros had predicted, my mind was in a panicked, horrified state; trying to both accept and expel the words that had been flung into my porous mind.   
  
Maybe I'd better back up a bit. It hurts me to recall the words Andros used, but as long as I live, I swear I will never be able to forget a single nuance, a single word or phrase. It will haunt me for eternity, try as I may to go on with my life normally.   
  
Normal no longer existed, after all. Were I to be struck down, were I to bleed all over the carpet of the Megaship after hearing what Andros told me, it would be safe to assume that I truly had been killed.   
  
Lucky me, to know the difference.   
  
*** 


End file.
